dirt
Me, am extremely tired person: hmmm, it's only 9 PM, but i could really use some rest. If i go to bed now i'll wake up refreshed and ready for the weekend!
Me, the same person, remembering i am incapable of sleeping like a regular person: i'm glad that i'm up and wired at 1 AM. This is good, actually
dirt
sometimes i get online so i can do some pathetic sad person shit and i get distracted by one thing or another. that's kinda cool, i guess
dirt
Me, making an OkCupid profile: haha so funny. Great bit, dirt!
Me, matching and flirting with people: this is gold. My best riff yet
Me, meeting up and going on dates: omg the crew is gonna lose it over this one
Me, getting absolutely railed out: s- so f- f- fun- ny
Me, getting married: i do
Me, getting divorced: lmao rackem
dirt
Dinosaurs: warn blooded or cold blooded? Scales or feathers? These are the questions herpetologists and paleontologists have asked for years. My new theory: none. The reason we can only find fossils is because they were only ever bones to begin with. That meteor broke the magic obelisk that was giving them life. Thank you very much
dirt
Until we discover alien life on another planet, the quaking aspen must be considered the largest living organism in
t h e k n o w n u n i v e r s e
dirt
"Infinite Jest" is about me recycling old bits ad infinitum
dirt
Roses are red
Or so they say
i'm colorblind
Everything's grey
dirt
i'm friendzoning all of you. Welcome to the friendzone. You are my friends and i love you
dirt
dirt: if you're a girl online, are you a girl in real life?
Goddess: yes my child :blobhalo:
dirt: and if you're an ass hole online, are you an ass hole in real life?
Goddess: yes my child :blobhalo:
dirt: then surely, if you're popular online, you are popular in real life :blobaww:
Goddess: 😬
dirt
There must be some mistake, i thought i told you not to open this?
dirt
@ldopa communism is my name for big blankets, btw
dirt
Straights? On Mastodon? It's less likely than you think...
dirt
Boost if you think think my dog is cute or i'm pretty.
Nobody will know which
dirt
Serious question: what is Mastodon like for straight people? Is it... any fun?
dirt
TERFs are to Gender Studies what Flat-Earthers are to astrophysics.
Fav if you agree
RT if you agree and you think I'm pretty
Reply if you agree and you want to be my friend :)
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