musicman (musicman@nu.federati.net)'s status on Thursday, 27-Sep-2018 11:40:13 EDT
musicmanI push my fingers into my eyes It's the only thing that slowly stops the ache But it's made of all the things I have to take Jesus, it never ends, it works it's way inside If the pain goes on I have screamed until my veins collapsed I've waited last, my time's elapsed Now, all I do is live with so much fate I've wished for this, I've bitched at that I've left behind this little fact: You cannot kill what you did not create I've gotta say what I've gotta say And then I swear I'll go away But I can't promise you'll enjoy the noise I guess I'll save the best for last My future seems like one big past You're left with me 'cause you left me no choice I push my fingers into my eyes It's the only thing that slowly stops the ache If the pain goes on, I'm not gonna make it! Pull me back together Or separate the skin from the bone Leave me all the pieces, and then you can leave me alone Tell me the reality is better than dream But I found out the hard way, Nothing is what it seems! I push my fingers into my eyes It's the only thing that slowly stops the ache But it's made of all the things I have to take Jesus, it never ends...
but I've got blocSonic stuff, looking for job, cat nonsense. I'm just stressed out. Not doing the 45 miles is a temporary solution, but my hope is finding a different job is a more permanent solution. Although Epic required moving to Madison, my hours were super-flexible. I'd like that setup with a company that embraces open source. I'm in a better situation than I was at Nagios. It's a step in the right direction, but it's still way too far from ideal.
Once Marvin dies, things should really mellow out. So much of my time is spent making sure the other cats don't eat his food (it doesn't have many teeth and eats very slowly). He poops on the litterbox mat now (but pees in it...wtf dude?). He's also the one most likely to wake me up because he's hungry in the morning. Also, I have to give him medication twice a day. It's just too much.
I guess the biggest thing is the time commitment. I can probably do the 45 miles without losing weight or a training hike. The drop in temperature is probably enough. I just don't want to fail again, and thus I don't want to take any chances.
trying to do it in January is a silly idea. We have colder Januaries than any capital city in the world other than Astana and Utlaanbur (which I've surely butchered...Mongolia).
The real issues are things I didn't want to post on facebook, which I can come back and post, but don't want to accidentally close the screen and lose what I've got.