Notices by Sam the Octopus (troublemoney@computerfairi.es), page 22

@mavica egg... beret...? *imagines*

okay, yeah, egg beret cool

@gemlog @trebach@mastodon.sdf.org I'm in favour of self-checkout because then I don't have to talk to anyone at all

@generika we're all sat here breathing a sigh of relief that he's taking the heat off all the other unforgivable shit we did

:samaww: 🦔

@mavica I love all the tiny phones you can find on alibaba/express

I also love that a load of them are advertised as "low radiation" which I assume means "we couldn't be bothered squeezing a decent antenna in this so we used a tiny crap super low gain one"

y'know what I'm craving right now?

fuckin pickled onion flavour monster munch

@revolverocelot the reasonable solution is to start shitting in their yard

@Linda oh, yeah, no unions, that does make sense

@Linda but... none of their job involves using their legs? why wouldn't you let them sit down while moving stuff with their arms?

I'm thinking this must be some sort of puritan thing I'm too european to understand

@Linda fuuuuck, y'all have problems

and they mentioned like, smalltalk with the staff?

I mean, I know I shouldn't come down against a culture just because I find it strange but whut?

I just saw a video about how USAians are confused by Aldi

Do... do you people not know how to pack bags yourselves? The person said about a job role called a "bagger" who packs grocery bags at the end of checkouts and that's like, all they do

That's not a real thing right?

And apparently US checkout staff aren't allowed to use chairs? What shit is that? That can't be right?

who needs animal crossing when you've got computerfairi.es?

we got:
octopuses
bunnies
skunks
bunnies
squirrels
like a huge number of bunnies

@vantablack probably so many that if you just used the money you would spend on bullets you could fund it personally

@wigglytuffitout @noelle eh, this kind of shit just seems to happen at the drop of a hat

don't worry too much about it

@mavica @noelle I'll use me siphon to propel me

jet powered glocktopus

@noelle right, which motherfuckers do I have to point these at

(image cw: guns)

@mavica I certainly haven't seen anyone say that

@penguin42 you could well be right there, especially the underside looks right for that