Notices by Sam the Octopus (troublemoney@computerfairi.es), page 57

@mavica that'll be the squirrel in you looking for trees to sit on

I wasn't sure which variant of that joke to go with so y'all got all of them

slide rules that are also slides

"these are really comfy and easy to put on my feet, also they multiply numbers"

Unfortunately the London Marathon committee take a dim view of Any% speedruns and refuse to give medals for it

@mavica maybe just some regular tea would work as well?

still, take care of yourself bun, and I shall send all the "feel less bad soon" vibes your way

@mavica maybe have some peppermint tea or anything else pepperminty? usually seems to help for me

@mavica *offers many healing hugs and blankets and tea*

also to be all mother hen, have you eaten anything in the last 24 hours? if you haven't then maybe get some toast or something

G-SHOCK have a new special edition watch for the pokemans

Model BGD-560PKC-1ER

Costs about 100 quid, comes in a pokeball, and the backlight reveals a pikachu

if your house wouldn't give euclid a heart attack is it really worth living there?

@noelle @mavica in a dystopian future where hugs are outlawed mavi would deffo be a villain in government propaganda

but also totally the hero so I'm not sure that counts

@mavica I'd very much like to listen to you say things, but I also don't have any particularly good suggestions on what that might be

there's really only so many times you can do Daisy Bell for karaoke

@mavica hell yeah! you're a robot!

Quacker Oats: porridge for ducks

@viciousviscosity bound to be an interesting conversation with his barber as well

"yes, black and slicked back on one side, white and messy on the other please"
"of course mr dent, been on holiday recently?"

@FuchsiaShock if you say that they put you in the special "smartarse" queue

@mavica hello!

*hugs for the bunny*

🦔 🦔 🦔

it's me birfday

@avi I like imagining the meetings

OBL: Hassan, have the american imperialist dogs gotten our message?

Hassan, a personal assistant: well, it seems they understood it as "they hate us for our freedoms" and are going to fuck with the entire region more

OBL: bugger.

@avi I seem to recall that one of OBL's stated aims of that was to "make the american people ask why this happened and learn of all of what america has done in the middle east and stop doing it" or words vaguely to that effect

which I take with about a half tonne of salt but if that was the case it didn't exactly work out how he wanted