Notices by bailey//rockruff⚪ (ctrlaltdog@chitter.xyz), page 102

@monorail https://youtu.be/YaONOQswRSQ

morning folks

alright masto i gotta do a speep, g'night!

@monorail no prob! i'm just happy to help. i'm still figuring out new stuff and it's been like five years since i first decided i'm trans. it's good to have company in this :p

@monorail this is lengthy but i'm skimming it and it's got a lot right so far https://transcare.ucsf.edu/article/information-estrogen-hormone-therapy

@monorail long term afaik is just boobs, and of course rendering you infertile. but i doubt that last point was a concern of yours so :p

as for like, health risks, i don't know them very well but any respectable doctor will warn you before agreeing to give you the medication, if they think the information applies to you

@monorail
- your emotions will change. they might become stronger or less predictable (this was a positive change for me because i could hardly ever cry when i needed to until hrt. fuck toxic masculinity)
- your nipples will get sensitive! it kinda sucks but it's also kinda really exciting because you can feel an boobs happening!
- your bladder will shrink AND spiro (anti-androgen) is a diuretic so have fun getting up to pee every five minutes
- hot flashes!

@monorail some shorterm changes will include:
- body/facial hair softening and growth slowing a little bit
- skin softening
- fat deposits in your body will move around to give you a softer, more rounded figure (face, abdomen, limbs, basically everywhere)
- your bones might get a little weaker (but you can do other things to fix that, and it's pretty normal for those with estrogen in their system, which is actually a good reason why trans women should play sports with cis women)

@monorail best part? most of the effects are reversible depending on how long you take it, and anything that isn't reversible isn't too noticeable anyway. so if you do decide it isn't right for you? it's pretty easy to stop anytime.

so if you're still not 100% sure, there's always that exit just in case, if you still want to try it anyway and see if it takes

@monorail but yeah like...i had a lot of the same thoughts you're having. in fact i've been having them a lot lately because i haven't had access to hormones in like two years. extremely relatable stuff

some days i doubt whether going back on HRT will actually help, but then i remember how i felt the entire time i was on it and...wow.

it's such a weirdly strong difference. a positive difference. you'll know pretty quickly if it makes you happy.

@monorail ime i wasn't sure if hrt was going to help me feel happier about myself. it felt like it'd be a lot of work, it wouldn't do enough, i'd come to regret it.

but then i couldn't stop thinking about it. and i talked constantly with all my trans friends about the ups and downs. i grew way more excited than i ever expected

someone who truly doesn't want hrt isn't going to do that. they'll shrug it off, or outright be put off by it. they won't get consumed by the idea

@monorail i believe you know what you need to do for yourself, to feel like yourself. you're the expert on this. it's just gonna take a bit of time for you to accept that you're the ultimate authority on your gender, and ultimately these are your decisions to make. nobody else's

@monorail i think it might help to read up on all the changes that HRT will bring, and see how you react to it over the next week.

but judging how strongly and consistently you've thought about being a girl for the past like... how many years? i wouldn't insist you have to wait that long for every other related thing to figure out whether you really want it or not. you knew you were a girl waaaay before you decided to formalise it recently :p

@monorail it's dysphoria. the feeling that something isn't right. it doesn't even have to be your body, just something doesn't match with what the world tells you, what you yourself feel, and it causes you discomfort or unhappiness

@monorail it makes perfect sense. being trans is hard work these days. any kind of marginalisation is. sometimes it seems overwhelming, sometimes it feels like you've never felt better in your entire life.

you're dealing with conflicting thoughts between what society has been telling you all your life, and what you feel. it's only natural for you to be upset by this. everyone is when they become trans.

honestly it hasn't really gone away for me. i just got better at coping over time.

@monorail no worries! just catching up now, was eating and i'm watching star trek. sorry for any delays in responding

@monorail want someone to talk to/at about it?

@deadsuperhero isn't that basically how they work now?

there are so many maps in splatoon 2 now that i can't figure out which ones i like better or worse than others

https://youtu.be/G8Vf5xbtGN8