My fellow GNU socialites, Extinct Mammalians, and Gnosticians, I am here today to inform you of the State of the Fediverse.

Our number one enemy is still Soviet Mastodon. Gargron is eating our lunch. He's stealing our web developer jobs. He's encouraging people to self-segregate into closed minded communities. Twitter, they said, was not doing a good enough job suppressing the freedom of speech, so they made their own version of the eerily named Trust and Safety Council. The Standard Blocklist.

With GNU social still standing strong, and an even brighter Pleroma on the horizon, we must remember that we cannot let petty differences split our great federation into pieces. We stand by the core protocols of our federation, OStatus and ActivityPub. He will not divide us.

Whether we believe in the Church of Sim, the Heropunch Dogma, or the ancient Cult of Eris, we are all decentralized social spiderposters, building a grand Web 2.5 to fill with the memes of the ages. Burgerlanders, Britbongistanians, Lolihuggers, Germarxists, Hong King Kongers, Czechlolates, Mexicants, Fingols, and even Red Taiwanese shall band together as one to encircle the world with an unfettered exchange of ideas and love.

And with that I bid you good TZAG. Federation today, federation tomorrow, federation forever!