If you can say with a straight face that the Equifax executives who sold their stock on August 1st and 2nd had no knowledge of the July29th breech (despite having July 31st as a business day where you can almost be assured of an "All Hands Meeting" or some such meeting (hell, even office gossip)...
If you can say this is true then I would ask that you send me all of your money as you're not responsible enough of an adult to manage it properly.