It is with great sadness and regret that I announce the tragic death of beloved Vermont senator, Bernard M. Sanders, who died today during a violent bowel evacuation. an inspiration to all, a fighter for socialism, a husband, a lover, a man of deep sexual charisma, and a loving step-father to three of his wife's children. today a great American was stolen from us. may he rest in Valhalla.

Bernie Sanders (1941-2018)
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