Fediverse newspaper:

Weather report: flurry of loli from the east may make its way on your instance, make sure your blocklists are sealed up good and tight 

Local news: A Nazi was sighted near GNU Social, Mastodon officials have vowed to "shut it down"

Human interest: A wild Kawen kawen'd, and bread is the new craze sweeping Mastodonia

Celebrity news: Mike Cole

Finance: Patreon e-begging index is at an all-time high 
https://shitposter.club/attachment/1897912