bailey//rockruff⚪
i really want to play dnd again but i also have huge anxieties over creating and playing as a character that isn't just Me
pretending to be something/someone i'm not is extremely difficult for me. i wish it weren't because it seems cathartic and freeing otherwise
bailey//rockruff⚪
also i've been having a huge problem lately with trying to think about story plots and characters that i want to eventually write since...way too much of it seems like self-insertion and forcing my opinions and perspectives on the reader
while i would like to write things to spread radical ideas around someday, i also want to create something with realistic depth to it. something with a little bit of everyone in it, if possible.
bailey//rockruff⚪
the difficulty is finding out how to create believable characters that actually seem like multifaceted individuals rather than slightly altered clones of myself/my personal perspective on what i think of these personalities
bailey//rockruff⚪
in reality though i'm probably just coming up with more excuses not continue writing down ideas and starting to actually write.
i mean, yeah my perspective might change over time, but it'll never be perfect enough to the point where i can finally write something and not have to worry about my opinions changing shortly after and drastically changing everything
perfection is unachievable and there's no sense in waiting around forever for the Perfect Ideas to crop up
bailey//rockruff⚪
literally every other writer out there who's somehow shaped the world or even just entertained an audience has been wrong in some way, has had their writing pulled apart and criticised and bested, or even just adamantly hated by someone.
art will never be perfect but we still gotta make it because it's good for ourselves and others, and helps us achieve better and better things each time we finally create something and expel it
bailey//rockruff⚪
like, if we write something down finally and share it? then a bunch of people (including ourselves) will realise the mistakes or at least find things that they want to do differently, and then things can get even better from there
if you never put your pen to paper, you don't make those mistakes to critique and improve upon, at least not anytime soon enough, and you certainly aren't doing a service to yourself by sitting on all the other cool ideas you could be sharing
bailey//rockruff⚪
art is a lot of mistakes and a lot of good ideas all coming together to mark a point in time, share perspective as well as give something to build off of.
it's a record of growth and progress, a necessary rung on a ladder that gets ever taller
but also just something to enjoy. something we create because we like to do it, and/or like to see others enjoying what we create. progress isn't really as important an objective as how art makes us feel in general.
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