So I faded away from posting here as my mental health took a big slide. I've been quite convinced that not being alive would be preferable. I am not currently taking any medication or receiving any therapy, my Dr is in Rotherham and I am in London and I am refusing to either change Dr or go to Rotherham. Today I feel kinda ok now that I've showered. I've taken the bus to the shopping centre and it's pretty scary but I haven't gone back yet.