bailey//rockruff⚪
i'm so sick and tired of gay men being the center of attention and everyone insisting that the term "gay" encompasses the entire fucking rainbow community
as if trans women being upset that cisgay men treating gender as a performance, is antigay :/
you can wear whatever clothes you like wherever you like! just don't talk over trans women about what gender is, whether respecting pronouns and names and gender is optional or not, whether people need surgery to be trans, etc
bailey//rockruff⚪
naturally you're gonna think gender is performative if you yourself only know it as a performance
but i'm not performing for others with my gender. i am literally being myself, for myself.
sometimes i wear certain clothes because they're comfy, or take hrt because it make me feel better physically and mentally
i'm not doing it for anyone else, at least not primarily
bailey//rockruff⚪
being trans is often the direct opposite of a performance; finally shedding the false "act" you've been putting on every day and openly being yourself
i can;t tell you how offensive it is for many trans folks to hear that you just think our gender is a performance when it's as much a part of us as anything else.
whether gender is a fake construct or not, thanks to societal conditioning, it is as important a part of us any other construct, like time or money
bailey//rockruff⚪
hot take maybe but "gender is performative" seems to draw a lot of parallels with "women only wear nice clothing, put on makeup, and make themselves look nice in other ways, to perform for men" which is highly disgusting
seriously, my gender is not for your benefit? it's entirely for me? i may be signalling to you with my gender the certain ways i might like to be treated/approached, but that doesn't mean i'm putting on a hollow costume and pretending to be something i'm not
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