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1. bailey//rockruff⚪ (ctrlaltdog@chitter.xyz)'s status on Thursday, 28-Jun-2018 14:51:56 EDT bailey//rockruff⚪

   over the past little while i've developed a habit of always needing to be doing a maximum of things to occupy my attention or feeling like i'm wasting time. despite the fact that i waste most of my time regardless just thinking of things to do

   1. bailey//rockruff⚪ (ctrlaltdog@chitter.xyz)'s status on Thursday, 28-Jun-2018 14:52:11 EDT bailey//rockruff⚪

      in reply to

      or being distracted by pretty much everything

      1. bailey//rockruff⚪ (ctrlaltdog@chitter.xyz)'s status on Thursday, 28-Jun-2018 14:56:00 EDT bailey//rockruff⚪

         in reply to

         like...i'll need to be watching an episode of a tv show while i eat, or listening to music while i chat or read or write. but i'll never actually decide what i want to watch, what i want to listen to, etc so i end up doing nothing instead.

         1. bailey//rockruff⚪ (ctrlaltdog@chitter.xyz)'s status on Thursday, 28-Jun-2018 14:59:29 EDT bailey//rockruff⚪

            in reply to

            then there's the issue of "well, i want to play a game. but every game i want to play, i can't multitask anything. what if i get bored while playing, but don't stop because i can't think of anything better to do, and start to feel bad because i'm not enjoying myself? what if i do enjoy the game, too much, to the point where accomplishing nothing by playing this game makes me feel guilty for not indulging in self care, chores, hobbies, learning new skills, basically anything actually productive

            1. bailey//rockruff⚪ (ctrlaltdog@chitter.xyz)'s status on Thursday, 28-Jun-2018 15:04:43 EDT bailey//rockruff⚪

               in reply to

               my mind is still too focused on productivity. it's ruining my ability to relax, and to move onto learning new things and starting new projects. it's kind of a self-fulfilling circle of not being able to be productive in the ways i want to be, because i'm not feeling productive enough in the ways i want to be

               of course, i don't have the energy or the capacity to come up with ideas to do the things i want to, so i need to relax and recover spoons, but it's hard to relax when i feel this lacking