I now know the name of my sworn enemy...
"Serverless architecture"
What idiot would voluntarily lock themselves to a vendor by implementing all their business-critical code against a proprietary cloud API?
I hate those web control panels. Where's my shell prompt? I want to check my process list and attach a debugger.
If you love Firebase and Amazon AWS, you're part of the problem. Argue all you want. You may be right, but that doesn't mean that I have to like it.