"I thought that if I adhered to that script, it would keep doors open for me in terms of receiving medical care. But the truth is, I didn’t know what I wanted — I wasn’t trying to become a woman, but I didn’t know what I was trying to be. I wanted to transition, but I didn’t know how. (1/2)
"I quit taking my hormones in January after starting only a couple of months prior. The physical changes began happening too quickly, and it left me feeling like I was losing my sense of control. Still, I knew that permanently stopping HRT wasn’t the right choice; it felt like failing." (2/2)
This has also been my experience. I started taking HRT for around five months last year - obtained through a now-closed online pharmacy site rather than via the NHS.
I felt breast tenderness and growth, and some of the changes felt positive, but I also felt frightened - like it was happening too fast for me to deal with, like I didn't really want this.