In the past, I haven't wanted to have children of my own. It's only these past few years when the maternal drive has reared its head. I can come up with a number of reasons to not have children but as time goes on... I question whether that is enough not to.

I really don't like the idea of going through pregnancy with all the changes it will have on my body. It goes against self-preservation for a woman due to the potential for complications. Probably why we need something like maternal instincts to overcome that.

My biggest fear would be in bringing my child up in a dysfunctional environment... that my own dysfunction will negatively impact my children. But I'm starting to think that isn't reason enough to not have children. Instead, it inspires me to get my shit together so that I can provide what my children need.

Becoming a mother will bring a lot of changes I won't like. But it will be worth it for me. I hope I can learn and grow from the experience... that it will develop my character in the only way that having children can.

I'm not driven to desire living forever or to pass my genes on like a legacy. I will accept my cycle in life, while still doing what humans do best... striving to remain alive when death comes knocking.

I am driven more by the wonder that is watching my children grow, as we all develop as we age. I want to be there for them at the important stages in their life. To protect, love and care for them as they learn to navigate life.