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One of my depression triggers was school. I went to a few state schools, and I had no choice in the matter. I was forced into an environment that taught me how to be helpless. I did not thrive at school... I learned mostly to push myself to attend and then disconnect when I was there. For the most part, I learned to endure all the bullying and when kids would just pick on me.
There isn't very much that stops a group of girls from bullying you. Even one-liners just coaxes them on... and you can't escape them if you have classes together. As much as you'd like to have nothing to do with them. There isn't a block or mute button irl.
I bluffed my way through everything. What other choice did I have? But an environment like that at such a crucial age of development doesn't help.
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Truly, it was school that taught me how to be socially anxious. Before it, I was willing to reach out and ask if I could play with other kids. But it taught me that kids didn't want to play with me, didn't even want to touch or be near me. So I gave up. When I didn't give up, I was soon taught the same message. That does something to a kid that just wanted to play. If I was outgoing before it all, that was squashed.
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I got a similar experience in school, I got picked up because I couldn't speak French and more inane reasons. Highschool was another experience since I more or less understood people.
>What other choice did I have?
As kids we don't have much experience, the only thing I did was to talk with my parents and when I say parents it was my mother, I don't recall my father saying anything. I remember her telling me that I should not seek revenge because I should not do to someone what you would not like myself.
My things were still stolen, I still got beat up. It took years for it to stop.
>I was forced into an environment that taught me how to be helpless.
This is what I thought a decade a go, now I believe that the reason for people to behave like this is because they want it too and parent encourage such behaviour directly or indirectly.
God doesn't make the world this way. We do.
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@mangeurdenuage A part of me thinks that I was bullied because I was vulnerable. Bullies tend to pick on someone that won't speak up or that don't have someone to protect them, but also for personal reasons. They will find any reason to pick on you, that makes you stand out. I don't really have an answer for what to do... especially since each bully is different. But I did notice that it stopped when a teacher got involved, but only because they weren't near me then. The less I had to do with them, the better. But it is hard to think it does any help as a child. I'm glad you were able to speak with your parents, at least. I hope that helped so that you felt listened to even if the advice didn't stop the behaviour.
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