just now listening to SoB80 and
the wild part about the switch: it HAS a headphone jack that supports inline mics! fortnite uses it if its there to provide party chat. (other games also may use it, idk tho)
I don't see why Nintendo didn't just have a damn mic on the console in the first place. The smartphone chat app is a terrible idea and I'm not surprised at how bad you both describe it.