TIL that Mattermost has described themselves, on their own website, as “Cool enough for Uber, Secure enough for the US Army” and “rated as a Cool Place To Work by Gartner”, and OMG could somebody go to Mattermost HQ and tell them that this isn’t stuff you put on your website, this is stuff you whisper to yourself alone in the darkness while you try to choose between whiskey and valium.