@rice @newt It's difficult for me to know if being a good friend to your children is a good idea. Whether it would work out given that you don't have an equal relationship with them growing up. I think my children will also always be my children, even as they gain independence and our relationship roles change to a degree. Since they won't need me doing things for them if I've taught them well.  I hope they will still spend time with me as adults, still feel that they can come to me for my wisdom and support. To enjoy an interest or hobby that we have in common. Keep me in the loop about their lives.