Hi @life just stumbled up this video, and wanted to let you know that you're not alone in this.
https://www.coactivate.org/projects/disintermedia/blog/2016/08/03/accepting-the-consequences-of-chronic-depression/
Good to hear in your Jan update that you feel like you're making progress. If you ever need someone to talk to, one sometimes-depressed tech activist to another, my door is always open :)