Strange Attractor
The relationship I have with my spouse would probably fall under the description of "best friends + physical intimacy" though I wouldn't frame it that way if I was starting from how I think about relationships.
One thing that makes it different is that my spouse and I are way more entangled, in terms of what we do every day and what we decide about our future. One of my best friends has moved to 3 different cities in the last several years, and we kept in touch by phone.
Strange Attractor
With my best friend being in different cities is fine.
Some people do manage to do long distance marriages, but it is really really hard.
A relationship more casual than marriage can work a bit better long distance. The physical intimacy then only happens when the people get together. I've had friends who have had long distance relationships temporarily, but all of them ended one way or another long term. Either they broke up or moved to be geographically closer to each other.
Strange Attractor
So there are issues that come up and tensions that arise because we are purposefully entangling our lives. It changes enough about the relationship that it makes it feel different than best friends to me.
Strange Attractor
There are some similarities in how I relate to spouse and to best friend - for example, being able to talk about pretty much any topic, and in pretty much any state of mind (even when tired, or feeling something strongly, or not thinking clearly). They know me well enough, and have goodwill toward me, and are emotionally adept enough that that conversation can go well. It can be safe to be around them when I'm not at my best - I trust them with that.
Strange Attractor
Also, there are some people who can compartimentalize physical intimacy, but for me it is woven into my life more. It is not separate from the time my spouse and I spend together in general.
If you mean sex, then yes, that sort of has to be done by itself. Hard to multitask. But if by physical intimacy you also mean cuddling, hugs, kisses, holding hands, etc, then I'll end up doing some of those things interwoven with some other task when my spouse and I are spending time together.
Strange Attractor
So that too makes hanging out with spouse feel different than hanging out with best friend.
It's a matter of degree in some ways - I will hug my best friend, for example. But it's enough difference to change the interaction in subtle ways.
Other people have different preferences and different approaches to relationships, so spending time with their partner might feel more similar to best friends.
Strange Attractor
In the early stages of a serious relationship or in a more casual relationship, it might feel closer to best friends plus physical intimacy.
There are ways that I have to be compatible with my spouse that are not required for a best friend type of relationship.
If my best friend has a different opinion about where the best geographical place to live is, that carries a different weight than if my spouse does. If my best friend wrecks their credit score, it doesn't directly affect me.
Strange Attractor
I think of marriage more like two people deciding to follow a path together. There are a lot of things that have to be compatible for that to work well. A lot of things that can lead to a situation where people split up, not because they don't like or respect each other, or get along day-to-day, but because they want to go in different directions.
You don't have to want exactly the same future as your partner, but you have to want something compatible with their vision of the future.
Strange Attractor
Those visions of the future change over time, and part of the commitment of marriage is to adapt to those changes together. To manage the changes respectfully, thoughtfully and not too much at the expense of either partner. To check in with each other about how the future is changing within their imagination and work out the details of how to make things better. Small things and large things.
Strange Attractor
"Best friend + physical intimacy" is not a bad first approximation, but as a model, it does not capture the extent of the compatibility requirements needed for a spouse.
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