It's 2021, no ones actually seen an Amazon delivery employee alive in almost 2 years, only the sound of them running full speed at our doors, two quick knocks, and then immediately the sound of them running away at full speed again.
1 in 5 deliveries are accompanied with a human shit two feet from the package as the knock is the only time the employee isn't traveling at a full run for their entire 22 hour shift.
1 in 35 deliveries are accompanied by a corpse and then 3 minutes later an employee disposal drone.
Amazon is currently considered the most humane employer in North America and responsible for 258 million employees and 118 million occupied maturation chambers containing Amazon brand fetuses with a maximum of 125 million still developing new Amazon workers made from copyrighted Amazon DNA sequences.
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Luxotek :sulfur: (luxotek@dystopian.fun)'s status on Monday, 17-Jun-2019 21:00:20 EDT Luxotek :sulfur: