In the midst of all the awfulness, I've found time to sort out the trailer issues. I managed to get a hitch that's the correct size (an uncommon size, so I had to order online and pay quite a more than I'd hoped) and installed the wiring adaptor on my SUV. Tomorrow, hopefully, I'll take it in to have the new tires installed. Then, at least, we can get out and camp this summer. That'll help with the grieving, I think.