US AS A KID: what the fuck, why is /etc/network/interfaces syntax like this?!
US NOW:
Within thine file, as well you know
`allow-hotplug` upon `eth0`
Listen now for words dogmatic,
`iface eth0 inet static`
Give an indent, for good fortune:
`address 10.0.0.1`
At last, invoke the final throw:
`netmask 255.255.255.0`
With this, the contract shall be sealed
And to your host, the net revealed.