I say this as someone who has had this happen to me a number of times without realising it. I fell into the trap, and felt much worse for it. It's not healthy to take on the responsibility of how someone else thinks or feels. Just for something you said, or because you reminded them of something. I have no control over how someone feels/thinks ultimately... how they will take something I say. I can only take responsibility for how I feel and think, to guide myself. I can only try to not upset others, but sometimes that can't be avoided if you want to speak your truth, to speak your mind. To set your boundaries with others. Or if you are unaware of something.
It is worth keeping in mind that you are responsible for your own thoughts, feelings and behaviour. It's not easy to take control of it... heaven knows I've tried and lost it. Just as others around you are responsible for their own thoughts, feelings and behaviour. When people start to take control more for themselves, and stop blaming anyone else when it falls on them... the better we will all feel. A lot of pain comes from the beliefs that we have internalised through past experiences... and no one else can change those for us. Only we can. It is true that we can be deceived, that we can believe a lie and learn bad habits... but that is our responsibility to sort through and resolve. We can't just blame others because a belief we hold gets triggered, and we are set off. That's not fair on them.
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mangeurdenuage
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