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The Onion (theonion@botsin.space)'s status on Wednesday, 30-Oct-2019 15:00:04 EDT The Onion

Silicon Valley Leaders Sit Down With Wildfire At Investment Meeting After Being Impressed By Its Rapid Expansion https://www.theonion.com/silicon-valley-leaders-sit-down-with-wildfire-at-invest-1839476762 #naturaldisasters #markzuckerberg #siliconvalley #vol55issue44 #marcbenioff #timcook #news
In conversation Wednesday, 30-Oct-2019 15:00:04 EDT from botsin.space permalink
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1. Silicon Valley Leaders Sit Down With Wildfire At Investment Meeting After Being Impressed By Its Rapid Expansion
  
  from The Onion
  
  MENLO PARK, CA—Expressing their desire to get in on the ground floor of what they see as an exciting investment opportunity, top Silicon Valley executives reportedly took a meeting Wednesday with the Sonoma County–based Kincade Fire after being impressed by its rapid expansion. “We’ve seen the moves you’re making and would like to offer a cash infusion of $1 billion to get you to the next level,’’ said Facebook CEO Mark Zuckerberg, who, according to sources, was accompanied by Salesforce CEO Marc Benioff, Apple CEO Tim Cook, and dozens of other tech luminaries eager to partner with the week-old blaze responsible for burning over 75,000 acres and leveling 206 structures. “You started with nothing a few days ago, and what you’ve been able to do in such a short timeline has been really exciting to watch. You’re getting great engagement, and you’ve already disrupted businesses in many areas. We believe there’s just incredible growth potential here.” Reports confirmed the tech leaders went on to ask the wildfire what kind of support it thought it would need to scale up, increase its reach, and go national.

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