Think about it like this.
These bigots harass us because they want us to be afraid because they are TERRIFIED of us.
The fedi is changing because we're figuring out how to work together and they rely on us not making those connections.
There is the fedi that wants to emulate Birdland, FB, etc and I bear them no ill will.
But there is the fedi where we're building a whole new context brick by brick.
And it scares bigots b/c the rules they've become accustomed to aren't working anymore.