from Local
ALBUQUERQUE, NM—In an effort to ensure they maintained a degree of professionalism and decorum during their travels, a queen bee sternly reminded her workers Monday that they still represented the colony even when they were away from the hive. “I want you to have a good time out there collecting pollen, but keep in mind that you are all acting as ambassadors for our nest, so make sure you’re on your best behavior,” said the queen bee, urging the assembled swarm to bring the same common sense and good judgment they’d use amongst the honeycombs to any fruit or flower they encountered during their trip. “Remember, when you’ve been out there downing nectar all morning and you decide it might be funny to crawl along someone’s Coke can or sting a kid in the face, it doesn’t just reflect poorly on you, it reflects on the hive as a whole and on my ability as a sexually mature female bee. So, don’t do anything to embarrass me—I’m looking at you particularly, HBW/B433-481-K7.” The queen added that while she didn’t want to scare them, a lifestyle of engaging in immoral and unbecoming behavior could lead to colony collapse disorder.
The Onion
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