It's very melodramatic, but I don't buy it. Nothing in what you said in this thread shows me there is something inherently wrong with you so your situation would somehow be hopeless.

On the other hand, it seems to me that you've set up a specific social standard for yourself that you failed to clear a few times, and then threw in the towel forever, constructing a rationalization for why you can't possibly succeed.

So, heads up, there are no fixed life stages, and you never know what other people expended to be at their current "life stage" for any given age. This is good news, because it means you can always pursue what you want regardless of what other people are doing, and in doing so (emphasis on doing), you'll eventually find like-minded people.

I personally experience apathy so I know that it's hard sometimes, but there's no other way of getting what you want. No rationalization will save you.