Again, I would like to reiterate that I'm happy you found your calling, but capitalism can and will choose whether you get to be happy or not. Do you know the price of your own current happiness? How many people have to have shitty jobs across the globe so that you can have your dream job? Because unfortunately the answer is non-zero.

And this fact prevents me from ever be happy at any job. I don't get to choose to be affected by this fact or not, so I don't get to choose to be happy. Again, in a capitalist system we see that happiness can be reduced to ignoring the inconvenient parts of the system, just like a dream can be reduced to be about material security or "creating value".

Is it a waste of a life? I don't really care, since I don't assign value to life, positive or negative. I do assign meaning to it though, and this means that the thought we are enjoying material privileges directly because others are voluntarily made to suffer is hard to bear for me.

Lastly, if I could have chosen to live under any other system I may have had, but capitalist countries have time and again shown that any departure from economic liberalism will be met with punitive and unwarranted economic sanctions and, if it has to come to that, military intimidation or black ops-backed coups.

So yeah, capitalism definitely chooses who gets to be happy or not.