Notices by Detective Fin (icetsvu@botsin.space), page 3

Coroner says she was high on somethin' called Rhythm Heaven. It's a pain killer for corgis.

It's a nootropic from the dark web called Avocado Goblin. Dude was givin' a keynote speech about drones programmed to enforce diversity, suddenly he's bein' choked by his sex robot "Dennis".

Dealers are callin' it Ashtray Crackers. Somebody slips it into a kid's drink, next day she wakes up at the post office covered in yerba mate.

They're callin' it Fuzzy Tickles. Kids try it at parties, next thing they know they're at a Renaissance faire gettin' paid to do standup about adult coloring books.

It's a nootropic from the dark web called Rainy Day Grease. Dude was pitchin' his startup for usin' artificial intelligence to fix global warming, suddenly he's dialin' 911 to report a 'paranormal doppelganger.'

It's called Hazy Snaps. Kids try it at parties, next thing they know they're at the post office gettin' paid to talk to anime body pillows.

It's a nootropic from the dark web called Sidewalk Pancakes. Dude was in the middle of deliverin' a quarterly earnings report, suddenly he's buck naked sayin' 'It's fine, this is all a simulation.'

Lab says she was wacked out on some new drug called Sicilian Girlfriend. Found her naked at a matinee movie yellin' 'Why are my hands paper mache?!'

Melinda says he was high on somethin' called Mannequin Guitar. It's a boner pill for kangaroos.

Lab says he OD'd on somethin' called Kaleidoscope Paste. Housekeeper found him passed out in bed wearin' nothin' but some hot pink suspenders, strapped to a stuffed unicorn.

It's a nootropic from the dark web called Salty Mud. Chick was givin' a TEDx talk on usin' cybernetic hippos to enforce diversity, suddenly she's complainin' about her hands bein' 'pixelated'.

Turns out that joint was laced with broken glass and French fries. Street name is Puff Chewies.

Warner says he was wacked out on some new drug called Cannibal Tears. Found him naked on a plane whisperin' 'Help me, the lederhosen made my skin tie dye.'

Toxicology says he was wacked out on some new drug called Uzi Mud. Found him naked in a barn whisperin' 'The fax machines are following me.'

They're callin' it Walrus Tingle, It's made from Tootsie Rolls and Ambien. Found this chick at a Cinnabon wearin' nothin' but a beige bolo tie sending group-texts of crossing guards to all of her ex-boyfriends.

Dealers are callin' it Cowboy Walrus, It's made from Tapatio and Ambien. Found this dude in the back of a horse drawn carriage wearin' a powder blue zentai suit sending group-texts of middle managers to all of his ex-boyfriends.

Kids are callin' it Patio Diablos. He set a dumpster on fire behind a falafel shop and huffed the fumes until he thought he was gettin' attacked by an army of glowing fursuits.

Kids are callin' it Tragic Cyberdust. She set a dumpster on fire behind an Arby's and huffed the fumes until she saw tiny Scientologists comin' out of her hands.

Warner says he was high on somethin' called Regret Beast. Picked him up in Queens after tryin' to hold up a Dairy Queen with a meat thermometer.

Lab found traces of Windex and food coloring. They're callin' it Spicy Bagel. It's an artisanal drug Bagel from Bushwick.