Notices by Sam the Octopus (troublemoney@computerfairi.es), page 27

I got a lot of my watch collection from the sacrifice of a messiah

You see, Jesus died for my Sinns

@noelle :samaww:

it's bunny day

appreciate bunnies

@mavica "im not owned! im not owned!!" you continue to insist while countersigning the cypress technologies warranty card

as a brit the "global south" is anything south of portsmouth

take that world bank!

@mavica nice view!

@mavica :maplphys:

@InspectorCaracal @wigglytuffitout hey, I'm up here at 51°N, all y'all are southerners far as I'm concerned

I'd include a big disclaimer on why exactly not to take any of this toot seriously as medical advice but quite frankly if you've decided taking medical advice from an octopus on the internet is a good idea then you've got bigger problems that a disclaimer won't help

This quarantine season, why not enjoy a gin and tonic?

Tonic water contains quinine which is another anti-malarial that so far has shown as much evidence for effectiveness against covid-19 in proper clinical trials as that hydroxychloroquine stuff trump's been pushing

(Which is to say none at all because nobody's published one yet. This may or may not change when somebody's actually completed a proper clinical trial on either of them for this purpose)

@mavica all cats are bastards, so a bastard cat is being good at being a cat!

@mavica such good cattes

In star wars, droids without their casings are referred to as naked

which means c-3po is wearing a crop top

@mavica yes

I've had a Hamilton Khaki Pilot Pioneer Mechanical (the W10 reissue) for a little while and I really am quite impressed with it

Timekeeping is at about +0.7s a day, maybe +- a second either way on the outside

It's light, comfortable, legible even in the dark (although there's not much lume so you might need to let your eyes adjust to the darkness for a second)

Good watch, octopus approved

also, how're things gonna go at the second comming?

"...you made that your logo?"

"it represents your sacrifice!"

"it represents possibly the shittest day I ever had on earth is what it does. Why couldn't you have gone with the fish one or something?"

@mavica now that makes a lot more sense

there's some talk of it being a corruption of "god's friday" but that rings hollow to me 'cause if you get executed it's really not your day

anyone else find it really weird that christians call the day their saviour was nailed to a tree "good" friday?

(yes, I know the etymology is murky and it likely has no connection to how we'd use the word good/positive/nice today, still weird)

@sydneyfalk all other nouns have been relegated to the amateur leagues