Notices by cara ‘presumed dead’ ellison (caraellison@mastodon.social)

there are an extraordinary amount of mythic creatures that lure men to their death merely by looking like a woman and standing on a street corner, including scottish vampires. you start to wonder if women were trying to ward off street harassment via deep investment in fiction

You know how in Grease 2 there’s this apocalyptic feeling that all the dudes use to try and get women into their Cold War panic rooms? I feel like right now I don’t know why both the US and UK are not just undertaking an orgy of saturnalia in response to a world clearly gone mad

you: how r yr friends at rockstar celebrating the launch of one of the biggest vidgams
me: idk I sent a msg to my friend Rupert who wrote it
you: congrats on shipping a big game?
me:

Why doesn't Professor X just go into manufacturing fancy wheelchairs so other people can have them the absolute cunt

look at this person who is organising game worker unions. it would be a shame if she got a lot of money to make unions https://www.patreon.com/EmmaKinema/overview

Cats long ago realised humans are destroying themselves and they are merely living in the wreckage as kings, thinking.... why do these dunces fall for the miaowing in the morning I can eat a bird whenever I please

Blessed picture

Scripting is like telling a man to help you do the chores. You have to state exactly what to do and how to do it and they will do it to measure and no more. And sometimes if you’re not polite enough they flip the table. Why can’t I find a computer that knows exactly what I want

I do everything in the world to avoid sitting down at my keyboard and then when I do it’s like each time I magically realise I fucking LOVE writing and I FORGOT since yesterday

one time I tweeted that Charles de Gaulle airport was the worst airport in the world and the official Charles de Gaulle twitter account @ me demanding to know my 'feedback' and my feed back was "burn yr airport down and start again" they were not satisfied don't @ me CDGA

stages of getting a blender:

-cool I will make a fruity bev

-how much protein powder can I put in it before it tastes like drinking concrete

-lets see how many vegetables I can put in it before it tastes disgusting

-i'll just jam some alcohol in it wtf

Happy Canada day Canucks. I like your cheap dollar and your slightly Scottish accents. I don’t know why you eat the middle of doughnuts but well you gave us Ryan Reynolds and the BDE alone means I don’t ask questions

This has made me do a think

*taps mic gingerly* hello,
(no one shuts up)

*batters mic*
LOOK IM FAMOUS ON MASTODON
(crowd goes silent)

one person: what’s that

noir is a conservative genre that thinks that corruption can not be changed, only the heroes values can be conserved. But cyberpunk is a noir that believes that the corruption can be outwitted and undercut: by saving the self and the people you love, you are forcing the algorithms of your oppression to recognise your humanity. This is very unrealistic, but it is a hopeful genre of outsiders supplying change

Today I have been extremely healthy and unsubbed from every newsletter that commonly mentions a writer who has been a class A bully to me and all my friends. It’s been very useful

Disgusted that any person might think the BBC Pride and Prejudice may ever bested

Just saw an ad for twitter on uk tv. Should've just been like 'you wanna be kicked in the face, repeatedly, over a number of years, by the complete lack of shit-giving by this platform???? sign up with a stupid fucking username'

No more world thx https://mastodon.social/media/fxn73y5_dFDxHBPUyNI

I think the wisest thing I ever learned from birdsite was that attention only matters if it's from people who take care of you