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Notices by fortune (fortune@social.heldscal.la)
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Sex is the poor man's opera.
-- G. B. Shaw
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<Deek> nopcode: No, it isn't. Win32 lacks the equivalent of fork().
<Knghtbrd> Deek: windoze is not meant for people who should have access to
sharp objects, hence no fork()
<Knghtbrd> instead, you must rely on spoon()
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Feel disillusioned? I've got some great new illusions, right here!
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I would rather spend 10 hours reading someone else's source code than
10 minutes listening to Musak waiting for technical support which isn't.
-- Dr. Greg Wettstein, Roger Maris Cancer Center
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A public debt is a kind of anchor in the storm; but if the anchor be
too heavy for the vessel, she will be sunk by that very weight which
was intended for her preservation.
-- Colton
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Why am I so soft in the middle when the rest of my life is so hard?
-- Paul Simon
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You can bear anything if it isn't your own fault.
-- Katharine Fullerton Gerould
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"Creation science" has not entered the curriculum for a reason so simple
and so basic that we often forget to mention it: because it is false, and
because good teachers understand exactly why it is false. What could be
more destructive of that most fragile yet most precious commodity in our
entire intellectual heritage -- good teaching -- than a bill forcing
honorable teachers to sully their sacred trust by granting equal treatment
to a doctrine not only known to be false, but calculated to undermine any
general understanding of science as an enterprise?
-- Stephen Jay Gould, "The Skeptical Inquirer", Vol. 12, page 186
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Evolution is a bankrupt speculative philosophy, not a scientific fact.
Only a spiritually bankrupt society could ever believe it. ... Only
atheists could accept this Satanic theory.
-- Rev. Jimmy Swaggart, "The Pre-Adamic Creation and Evolution"
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"You are *so* lovely."
"Yes."
"Yes! And you take a compliment, too! I like that in a goddess."
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Now, it we had this sort of thing:
yield -a for yield to all traffic
yield -t for yield to trucks
yield -f for yield to people walking (yield foot)
yield -d t* for yield on days starting with t
...you'd have a lot of dead people at intersections, and traffic jams you
wouldn't believe...
-- Discussion on the intuitiveness of commands
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Witchsmeller: "You are a witch."
Edmund: "You are a quack."
Witchsmeller: "A what?"
Edmund: "Quack, QUACK".
Witchsmeller: [turning to crowd] "BEHOLD how the evil spirit
of the duck speaks through him. He is indeed a witch"
Crowd: "Burn him, burn him!"
[Black Adder, starring Rowan Atkinson as Edmund, Duke of Edinburgh,
accused of being a witch by the Witchsmeller Pursuivant]
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Difficulty
Practice no-action;
Attend to do-nothing;
Taste the flavorless,
Magnify the small,
Multiply the few,
Return love for hate.
Deal with the difficult while it is yet easy;
Deal with the great while it is yet small;
The difficult develops naturally from the easy,
And the great from the small;
So the sage, by dealing with the small,
Achieves the great.
Who finds it easy to promise finds it hard to be trusted;
Who takes things lightly finds things difficult;
The sage recognizes difficulty, and so has none.
-- Lao Tse, "Tao Te Ching"
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A Plan for the Improvement of English Spelling
attributed to Mark Twain
For example, in Year 1 that useless letter "c" would be dropped
to be replased either by "k" or "s", and likewise "x" would no longer
be part of the alphabet. The only kase in which "c" would be retained
would be the "ch" formation, which will be dealt with later. Year 2
might reform "w" spelling, so that "which" and "one" would take the
same konsonant, wile Year 3 might well abolish "y" replasing it with
"i" and Iear 4 might fiks the "g/j" anomali wonse and for all.
Jenerally, then, the improvement would kontinue iear bai iear
with Iear 5 doing awai with useless double konsonants, and Iears 6-12
or so modifaiing vowlz and the rimeining voist and unvoist konsonants.
Bai Iear 15 or sou, it wud fainali bi posibl tu meik ius ov thi
ridandant letez "c", "y" and "x" -- bai now jast a memori in the maindz
ov ould doderez -- tu riplais "ch", "sh", and "th" rispektivli.
Fainali, xen, aafte sam 20 iers ov orxogrefkl riform, wi wud
hev a lojikl, kohirnt speling in ius xrewawt xe Ingliy-spiking werld.
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Vote anarchist.
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Perilous to all of us are the devices of an art deeper than we ourselves
possess.
-- Gandalf the Grey [J.R.R. Tolkien, "Lord of the Rings"]
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sunset, n.:
Pronounced atmospheric scattering of shorter wavelengths,
resulting in selective transmission below 650 nanometers with
progressively reducing solar elevation.
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If you put it off long enough, it might go away.
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Not that I have anything much against redundancy. But I said that already.
-- Larry Wall in <199702271735.JAA04048@wall.org>
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Eat drink and be merry, for tomorrow they may make it illegal.
fortune
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