Notices by 🇳🇴 Thor — backup account (thorthenorseman@octodon.social), page 67

@Ricardus @bamfic I suspect that this depends on which version of America you live in...

@Bobo_PK @vfrmedia Well, you can't avoid doing a survey. My hope was just to avoid the trial and error part of it.

@bamfic @Ricardus I think most people get by in this way; by avoiding depressing subjects. It's just that when you have an analytical mind, you're always in danger of pursuing every thought very deeply, so you must be extra vigilant about which trains of thought should be followed, and which are better to abandon.

@bamfic @Ricardus I tried them once, but I pretty much discovered that, although my negative feelings disappeared, my thoughts were as dark as ever, so it was a bit like that meme with the dog saying that everything's fine while there's flames around him.

It didn't feel right. Eventually, I discovered that I could perform CBT on myself, and control my thoughts, which is how I've reached the point I am at today, where I mostly feel fine, without needing antidepressants.

@Ricardus I'm facing some serious money problems at the moment, but so long as no solution to them has turned up, there is no point in fretting over it, so I just focus on what I need to do, and on ways of making money. There's this optimism you have to force yourself to have at all times in order to not sink.

@Ricardus Discussing or even thinking about this autism related stuff has been off limits for me for a while, because it made me depressed. BUT... These odd problems that no one else seems to have turn up from time to time, and I'm forced to consider what's causing them.

@Ricardus I'm not sure what to say about my life, except there are a fair bit of cringeworthy moments... but I've found that the less I think about it, the better I feel... I'm prone to analysing everything and I've had to discipline myself to just stop doing that and focus on what I need to do in the moment.

@Ricardus When you seemingly pulled out, I thought it was because here's me, the happy amateur, and now I'm being too pushy, etc.

@Ricardus Mmm, I can be a bit hypersensitive with social cues. I'm always analysing people... I call it social intelligence, but I mean, it's basically knowledge that I had to acquire, and didn't come naturally. I made some horrible gaffes in my school days because of that...

@Ricardus I think I tried to talk about music production and stuff, and the conversation just stopped? It's been a little while now. I think it was early on.

@Ricardus Perhaps you just didn't have anything to say... I mean, I admit to doing that sometimes online. I'll just not reply to something if I don't have anything to add...

@Ricardus Oh, don't take it as an accusation. It's just that there's been like one or two times when the conversation abruptly ends because there's no reply.

@Ricardus I've never had trouble talking... or reading... but listening to other people talk? There's so many words and so little information, usually. 20 repetitions of the same thing, with little stories in between, and it exhausts me... I just want people to get to the point...

@Ricardus I think I'm starting to understand your reclusiveness a bit more. I've noticed that you tend to pull away when I'm eager to talk, lol.

@Ricardus I like it when my place is tidy and clean, but it's hard to make myself do it. I used to hang out with an aspie who had someone to clean his place. I think it was paid for by the municipality, but I'm not sure... but I don't want to be like him. He just sits inside and plays his MMOs all day and has given up on the idea of making a living for himself.

@Ricardus I've had to work around my issues as best as I can. For example, I don't deal well with the duties of housework and I leave a mess everywhere, so I pay someone to clean my apartment.

@Ricardus The PDD-NOS diagnosis came later, and it didn't help me in any way. Eventually, I decided to forget about the whole diagnosis thing and just work with the assumption that I'm completely normal...

@Ricardus Unlike Asperger, PDD-NOS isn't a term that would, say, get you a welfare check. I was feeling depressed for a while and I just wanted out of everything, so I pursued that route for a while. Ended up spending a few nights in a clinic and was then basically told to fuck off, because nothing "serious" was wrong with me, and it was just "learned helplessness". It was a serious blow to me, because there it was, in black and white: I was just a whiner.

@Ricardus As far as I could tell when I started googling that term, PDD-NOS is basically weak Asperger.

@Ricardus I've had enough of a suspicion about this that I saw a psychiatrist about it. After he finished being baffled about me already being familiar with the questions on his form, he said I possibly had PDD-NOS, but he wasn't very sure. I was out of the ordinary for sure, but not in a way he could peg down, it seems.