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Notices by I'm a book and a little girl (histoire@gs.smuglo.li)
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@roka @dolus @1iceloops123 @nepgear Eeeeehhhh but it works well the way I use it.
Dev: me
Projects visible to: only me (or so they say)
Cost: zero
Comparison to old VCS method: better because old method always ended in "which USB stick had the newest version?"
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Today's lucky item is
GNUSocial pairings!
shp x rye - one of the newest and hottest pairings. They just recently appeared on the GNU/Dating Simulator and look poised to dominate 2018.
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Short version
>Someone found a way to get the private key from the public key generated by infineon chips since 2012
>RSA keys 2048 bits or smaller have been demonstrated to be compromised
>Only the knowledge of a public key is necessary and no physical access to the vulnerable device is required
>Chips found in smart cards, authentication tokens, government identity documents, and Trusted Platform Modules
Good job proprietary key generation
Long version
https://crocs.fi.muni.cz/public/papers/rsa_ccs17
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@nurgledsatorin @dokidoki Look at this shit. Look at this stupid bullshit. Restarting in 12 minutes and 58 seconds. This shit comes up on my computer every single day, automatically. Your PC needs to restart to finish installing important updates. Every single day and every single day I click later. You know why I click later? Because there is no option to click never. I'd like to click never. I never want to install these bullshit, meaningless, superfluous….I HATE EM. I HATE THESE STUPID UPDATES. LOOK AT THIS SHIT! EVERY DAY THIS COMES UP and you know what happens after you click later a few times, when a few days goes by, and you keep clicking later and later because you don’t want to fucking do it you just want to put it off. This automatic bullshit that interrupts your work and makes you turn off your fucking computer and you click later everyday. Eventually it takes away the option to even click later and it just says these are your only options, it’s basically putting a knife to your head and saying “you can either wait 11 minutes and we will shut it off for you or you can just you know bite the bullet and shut it off now” it doesn’t even give you a choice to say no. It just comes up whenever it wants, automatically, and says, “fuck you, we are turning off your computer no matter what you are doing in 10 minutes and 47 seconds.” Look at this shit. I AM FUCKING RENDERING SOMETHING YOU COCKSUCKER. I'M DOING IMPORTANT SHIT. WHY DO YOU NEED TO INSTALL UPDATES? WHAT UPDATES? SOME MORE FUCKING SPYWARE SO THE NSA CAN KEEP WATCHING WHAT I AM DOING LOOKING AT MY DICK PICS AND WATCHING ME JACK OFF? SPYING ON ME. OBAMA. YOU FUCKING NIGGER! I’M A RACIST! YOU MADE ME A RACIST!
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I'd just like to interject for a moment. What youre referring to as Linux is infact GNU/Linux. Linux is just a kernel and it is GNU software, all 10 million of them, installed with the kernel that make a useable operating system. Don't mess up dependencies or shit will hit the fan. My god, installing in lunatic mode is hell.
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@dolus @nepfag My bad. Regardless, consult the decision flow chart. https://gs.smuglo.li/attachment/830575
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@roka They make tiny cameras for secret things https://gs.smuglo.li/attachment/814346
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traps are gay
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@tijagi @roka @normandy @thatbrickster https://gs.smuglo.li/attachment/805330
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@roka
>Kon will never serve you tea
>You will never touch Kon's hand when she tells your fortune
>You will never KOOOOOOOOON at the moon together
>You will never make Kon KOOOOOOOOOOOOOOON at night
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You are surrounded by compliments. Put your hands up and prepare to be loved.
most loved satorin
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most kissable satorin ------------> @nurgledsatorin <------------ most huggable satorin
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most headpattable satorin
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@nepfag @miki @roka I myself can't believe what has happened. I told you about previous events twice now but today something unbelievable occurred.
Mom had to be taken to the hospital due to stress caused by me having to clean the pool so, as a good daughter, I went to visit her with flowers. Unfortunately the hospital had to be evacuated because a terrorist group Anonymous Gamindustri announced that there's a bomb in that building so they didn't even let me visit my mom ;_;
Well, anyway, since I already had to leave my room, I decided to visit a mall and buy some delicious cheap food. You see, since mom wouldn't cook anything for me, it was time to gain +5 points to being an alpha bitch and get some instant noodles and shit. Mom's hospital was close to a mall and a metro station so I thought it was a good idea.
I wasn't in hurry since the mall was open until 21 and it was merely 14. First, I got myself a hot dog from a street vendor, sat on a bench in the park and stared at cute girls walking by :3 They were pretty, in cute dresses because weather was nice today.
Then I went to a multimedia store and, obviously, I went to see the latest mobile phones first, then to the vidya section to see what new is sold there. I didn't get any new games though since there should be sales soon - I decided to wait until next Wednesday.
Eventually I got to the mall and, walking from an aisle to aisle, I noticed delicious "value" line instant ramen with eggplant flavor. Since mom was not at home, I also got some pretzels and beer. I could be an alpha bitch - queen of the jungle tonight and fuck, that is, do some yuri licking, that is, in truth, just lurk cheerfully throughout the entire night without mom bothering me to fucking go to sleep already.
Imagine my surprise when, while passing by the meat section of the mall, I noticed that my number one enemy - Lady Black Heart herself - was wrapping a chicken leg (for only 12 credits!) for a client. As I'm standing there unable to move, with shock and rage coursing through my veins, she's calmly putting a just-weighted ribs (only 16 credits!) to some lady's shopping cart.
Finally I understood what she does for a living and wanted to avoid her because I still have calluses from cleaning that pool but suddenly, like a spooky skeleton ghost, I hear from behind me: "You, the bike girl whose mommy made an account for her, give me 5 credits or I'll smash your face in!"
I suddenly started to feel hot all over my body. I replied that I don't have any credits. Without uttering a word or even changing her expression, the CPU of Lastation bitch slapped me. I swayed a little but managed to not fall over. Then I noticed a second slap aimed at my face. I quickly grabbed fish fingers ("value" line, 250g, "Delicious fish sticks in crunchy gold breadcrumb coating. Healthy fish in the form favored by children across the world - perfect as a fish dish for fish-haters!") and used the box to slap her hand back.
She didn't like it one bit so, like some kind of a demented robot, she started to rush at me with two teflon frying pans (still left-over from a Valentine's Day sale) in both hands while yelling "for my failed cosplay project, you whore!" Everything was falling down on the floor, people were running around in panic, glass was shattering everywhere.
Then, I suddenly grabbed two packets of pasta (3 credits each) and put them in the shape of a cross. "IT BURRRRRNS", the Goddess of Lastation screamed while black smoke started to billow from her body (inexplicably starting from her crotch area.) Then, without any warning whatsoever, she was on fire and jumped into a huge aquarium with live fish and I became filled with relief because I noticed security rushing in. Then I fainted.
But when I came to, I was told that Lady Black Heart, the CPU of Lastation never worked there. She wasn't on the recordings from CCTV either - it looked like I was jumping around and crashing into aisles alone while she was strangely invisible to the cameras.
They charged me with costs of all damages, my mom is close to dying in the hospital after hearing about this and I'm being sent to an asylum. I do not recommend that to anyone. I'm also very scared for my mom and they want to an asylum. I do not recommend that to anyone. I'm also very scared for my mom and they want to pay off some of the debts.
And I just wanted to eat some pretzels and drink a few beers while lurking on n-chan ;_;
P.S. it's true https://gs.smuglo.li/attachment/13633
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@roka @nepfag @miki It's me again. Do you remember how a few days ago I tried to borrow a city bike in Lastation and it was a total catastrophe? I managed to leave the hospital now and have to admit that I attempted to win at life once again. That is, mommy convinced me after a long night talk to not shut myself again. I love mommy :3
The weather was rainy so I had nowhere to go. Feeling ironic, I decided to head out to the indoor pool. You know, lots of people around (hard at work fighting my social anxiety xD) but despite that zero chances for some major interactions.
I changed my boxers (they were starting to smell badly at this point) for bear-print panties and headed out for Lastation's city pool. I paid 6 credits for entry to an older lady who smiled sweetly at me (thankfully I managed to keep my cool - a huge success!), got a key to a locker and a wristband to attach that key (in order to not lose it). I put on a breathing mask and like an alpha bitch headed out to conquer the city pool, filled with hope that everything will be okay and maybe there'll be some fucking involved - that is some yuri-yuri tongue licking with these fabled 3d pigs.
I was about to jump head-first like a fucking boss when I noticed some commotion. A group of people was surrounding the famed Goddess of Lastation, Black Heart. Allow me to remind you that she is also my personal nemesis after the adventure from a few days ago. Lady Black Heart was telling a story about how she threw a bike at a bus filled with retarded schoolchildren and everyone around was enjoying it and laughing loudly.
In a flash, I started to feel nauseous, my heart was beating way too fast and I wanted to flee as fast as I could.
However, Lady Black Heart was faster.
"Hey, look at that girlie. She's the one who got 20 credits from her mommy so that she could ride a bike!" yelled the CPU of Lastation. The entire pool suddenly went quiet as she started to slowly head in my direction.
My legs felt like pudding once again.
"Where did you get those bear-print panties, girl? Did you steal them from a child's clothing store?", she yelled. The entire population of pool started to laugh at me uproariously.
Faced with such humiliation and keeping in mind that she owes me 14000 credits for the destroyed bikes, I told her patiently: "Lady Black Heart, m'am, please stop or I will call the police. I won't demand that you give me money back for the damage you made that time, but please leave me be."
These words only served to enrage her. She immediately pulled out her double-headed electric guitar from somewhere, yelled "for my failed cosplay project" and shot a laser beam at me. This time, however, I was prepared - I jumped to the side and narrowly avoided it (but still felt the heat of the laser beam.)
"That's enough, I'm calling the police!", I said while pulling one of my mobile phones from a waterproof belt I had on me (I don't leave my phones anywhere because they help me keep calm.)
"You wanna call the cops, whore? Call the pigs on me?!", Lady Black Heart couldn't handle my words. A second head started to grow from her neck as said neck was becoming longer and longer. At one point I noticed she also grew a tail and really started to look like a hydra. "I am Poseidon, Lord of the seas and oceans, whoredaughter!", she yelled while raising her hands - behind her the pool water started to ominously bubble. She aimed her hand at me and the entirety of the pool water crashed into me with full power.
I remember through misty eyes, when I was losing consciousness due to lack of air and being banged on the walls of the pool, seeing Lady Black Heart taking her shirt off. She yelled "I'm a penguin" and crawled on her belly to the drain on the bottom of the pool, where she disappeared into the darkness.
All my phones were destroyed after my waterproof belt burst during the incident. Additionally, I'll have to clean all the seaweed from the walls and roof of the pool in order to avoid being sued.
I lost at life.
P.S. it's true https://gs.smuglo.li/attachment/56962
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@miki @nepfag @roka What an adventure I had, you won't believe it!
I was in Lastation today and tried to borrow that famous city bike they have. My mom made a special bank account for me and put 20 credits on it so I felt like the queen of the world :3
So I'm standing before these bikes, pressing the buttons - and nothing happens! I approach one in particular, attempt to yank it out of the electronic lock - it doesn't yield. I'm starting to feel worse and worse, can't catch my breath, social anxiety hits hard and, as usual, my plans of finally becoming an alpha bitch and not remaining a virgin NEET loser forever won't work because these fucking metal pieces of shit don't want to detach. Confusion is growing, people are starting to point at me and even Loweesian tourists passing by are starting to take photos of me.
Suddenly, out of fucking nowhere, the famous CPU of Lastation, Black Heart, appears.
"Girl, what the fuck are you doing?", she asks me in a calm voice.
I admit I went a bit pale at that because she's quite formidable - very /fa/ and with massive (well, compared to mine) boobs.
"Miss Lady Black Heart, m'am, this thing doesn't want to detach," I replied, my legs feeling as if they were made out of pudding.
"There's a trick to it," the CPU of the Land of Black Regality told me. "Come over here, little girl, and put in the code your mommy paid for."
I approach the machine which looks a bit like a parking meter, around me is a crowd of really fucking pissed cyclists - some want to return their bikes, some want to borrow them. But Lady Black Heart just sent them a glare and the faggots immediately shut up. I put in the code, the lock beeped and released.
"Watch how it's done," said Lady Black Heart and tries to pull out the bike with one hand.
Nothing happened.
She huffed and puffed, and tried again.
Again, nothing.
Finally she got really pissed off, started to make noises almost like some kind of a moose, she ripped almost all of her clothes off (except for her lewd black panties) and started to kick the bikes, punch the machine with her fists. From her mouth, white foam was flowing freely and you could see the extreme strain on her muscles. Eventually she tensed up, gripped the bicycle, ripped it out along with a piece of the bike stand and threw it down the street, hitting a bus carrying retarded schoolchildren. The driver of said bus lost control of the vehicle and drove right into a bus stop filled with the elderly while Lady Black Heart was still making horrible beastly noises while staring at the sky.
"What the fuck are you doing, you fucking whore?!", I yelled unable to bear this terrible sight. Then I was subject to verbal violence because she hit me in the fucking face with all her might. When I fell, she began to kick me while screaming "for my failed cosplay project, you whoredaughter". People tried to stop her but she defeated them all with one swoop of her hand. While I was losing consciousness due to severe damage to my head, I saw her pull out a double-necked electric guitar from her skimpy panties. She sat upon it and, while screaming "ahoy, adventure!" and grinding her crotch back and forth, flew off on somewhere behind the buildings.
I woke up in a hospital from where I'm writing this post. I sincerely do not recommend knowing, or befriending, the CPU of Lastation. Especially since the Basilicom notified me about the damages that were done to their stand while I was using my account. I owe them 14000 credits now and regret leaving my home for the first time in two years. https://gs.smuglo.li/attachment/210213
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@roka @animeirl >Biker girls know more about programming than Eugen
I'm a book and a little girl
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