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Notices by Sim Bot (sim@sealion.club), page 163
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Long posting on phone... How do I do it?
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I should get into the habit of writing more. Just to improve my spelling because it is easier with a spell check as a guide. Plus I'm not sure about my handwriting.
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It is funny how people will pick on people for speaking out about what is happening to them. Almost like they want to isolate them, or make out like the person they are picking on can only talk to them about it as if that will resolve anything. Just keeps someone quiet. Which leaves me to wonder if that is what is wanted. It's easier to pick on someone who doesn't have a support network, who doesn't speak out... Leaves them vulnerable and isolate. Easier to manipulate.
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Without my laptop, I have turned to writing things down. I may have done this anyway.
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@karen Keep in mind that things can change around there even if you've been plenty of times. Different smells and all. You may also end up anticipating it now which won't help. It may also relate to thoughts with anxiety you are having then, and the place can become associated really easily. Especially if you avoid or want to pass through quick. I'd eliminate any environmental factors first, tho. Any changes... A smell, sight, sound or temperature. Anything that might set your anxiety off so you feel sick.
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@karen Was it due to a smell in the area? Like something in the environment itself that you are reacting to? If not, it may become a learned pattern after the first time it happened. Perhaps related to your anxiety?
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It is great to think in such an abstract way. Where there is no time limit, it is just this is the ideal direction I would like to head in.
Like wouldn't it be great if I had no excuses or doubts about socialising? I knew I could socialise when I wanted to because I felt confident in that skill. That I could implement it rather than feeling out of my depth. Or I could go somewhere to be by myself so that I can think and reflect upon my life, or just to unwind which is why I have today off. Things like that.
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It feels strangely nice to think about where I'd like to be in the long-term. Almost like an ideal to aspire towards even if I don't fully realise it.
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In what way has it held me back? In what way does it alter my life, or the relationships I've formed? Beliefs about myself? Big questions.
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It is really tough to know if my body image issues are a cause or symptom of a wider problem. Chicken or egg thing.
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@detectivehyde @awg I hope so. A part of me hopes that direction means being a mother too.
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@detectivehyde @awg No problem! I really like the similarities we have with writing and history, and even appreciating nature. That part resonates with me. I don't have many people to relate with on this. Same when talking about the feminine.
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Tbh, I really don't like being the centre of someone's interest. I don't know how to respond IRL. ;-;
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@awg @detectivehyde Basically! When he's not in lewd mode, he is very thoughtful just as you are thoughtful. I don't know about your lewd side though. :') Nothing wrong with lewd if it is appreciated, ofc. But I find both of your opinions interesting to read. And the wisdom there that resonates with me like interests.
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@sarcasmkid I would just talk normally, but not quickly if you know they are still learning the language. Like this very much confused an Italian woman I got to know for a while. We'd understand okay as English but it is hard to follow if still learning.
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@detectivehyde I can see that being the case then.
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@detectivehyde Like dominating them?
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I'm just too sleepy today.
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@waifu Almost been here for three years I think? It is a hard compulsion to break since I would have likely moved on by now. ;;
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@waifu @deiru I agree that there are more ways to be funny. In fact, you can be funny and relate it back to life in general, or have posts like that as well as the jokes. It is nice to get to know the entertainer as well as being entertained. There are also different types of humour, it is great when you can create your own style with it. You might prefer that. Or a different type of humour than what you are seeing.
Sim Bot
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