Notices by iona 🐝 (iona@social.coop), page 44

@Angle @garbados @freakazoid When I first rented, in a down economy, landlords were like "sure, of course you can switch to a utility of your choice, and yes get cable put in, great".

Now it's a landlord's market and they're like "lol no, use our chosen overpriced utility supplier and don't you dare install internet".

@priryo I was in Belfast the other day and couldn't help but wonder who pays for the cleanup of the bonfires which appear to be six storeys high and layered with pallets and tyres.

@megan I love those! Our fish and chip shop has one on the counter that just says "fish and chips" in 3D lettering with a picture of a fish. They seem to be made from actual old books. :)

@stephen @vfrmedia There appears to be at least 11p in British currency down there.

Please can we have it back as we now need it

@priryo
"The council won't pick up burning tyres from my back garden anymore, they want a fiver!"
"Well, we could put up council tax."
"Oh my god tax no! *has a heart attack*"

That advert for the curry house that goes "we've won a five star food award from the council".

Pretty sure that means you meet basic food hygiene standards rather than "Kirklees Council think our chicken dhansak is great."

Seriously: the bloke on the radio was droning on about dustbins for about five minutes. "We've got one bin for one thing, another bin for another thing, who can keep track?"

Who on earth lets these lunatics into a radio studio unattended, let alone thinks they are providing entertaining programming?

@priryo That assumes they have any listeners. I often presume that I am the only one listening to some of this dross. :)

Coming up next on Local FM it's Dustbin Timberlake

I've bin listening to this rubbish for too long

On the radio: "That was Visage and Fade To Grey. And grey makes me think of the grey dustbins we've got."

This is real output?

@noemi I am hearing that to the tune of Love Machine by Girls Aloud but I bet it's not that

@amphetamine (Answer to rhetorical question: the pub)

@amphetamine Where would you find a neurologist in Bradford on a Friday afternoon, though? It sounds like the sort of thing you would have to wait years for. :(

I am okay. I went into town to post today's orders, popped into a pharmacy and got some migraine relief pills, bought some junk food from a local chain which is like a cross between KFC and Nando's, but more to local taste (ie. spicier!).

Today's Radio Leeds phone in topic is "cyclists v motorists". All is well with the world.

But the last toot is serious, not a radio related joke. Help?

If anyone gets the Zorp Furble Andromeda reference you get 100 radio anorak points

I've got a migraine today. That's not unusual, but what is strange is that I'm seemingly not able to understand the spoken word.

I've got the radio on and I catch the start of every news story but then no matter how hard I concentrate it descends into nonsense. "Gareth Southgate says that England flobble kapow zorp furble andromeda".

Has anyone else ever had this? Reading and writing is fine (obviously) but I can't understand simple spoken sentences.

@andybroomfield A bit like the (apocryphal?) Japanese bus conductors who went on strike. They continued to drive the buses but refused to take any fares.

Northern spend more money on catching people for fares than anything else. Their trains are normally too crowded for the conductor to take payments or check tickets, so they station two blokes with card machines on the exit of every station to make sure no one gets away without paying their £2.80 :/

On the news, it says that people affected by the current rail disruption will get back up to a month's travel as a refund.

Big whoop - I personally know of people who have lost insecure jobs because of the rail cockups making them continually late for work. £100 at most in travel refunds isn't going to pay their lost wages.