Notices by Sam the Octopus (troublemoney@computerfairi.es), page 5

@rusty @jk "optical detector" - some dude, "large lens" - binoculars, "especially sensitive device" - eyes, "converts fluctuating light signals into electronic signals which can be electronically analysed" - that's a description of how human vision works, "positive reading" - yep, they're watching eastenders

@rusty @jk a search warrant that was released as part of a FOIA request read: "the optical detector in the detector van uses a large lens to collect that light and focus it on to an especially sensitive device, which converts fluctuating light signals into electrical signals, which can be electronically analysed. If a receiver is being used to watch broadcast programmes then a positive reading is returned."

which sounds like a lot of words for "we looked through the window"

@mavica :samaww:

@SuricrasiaOnline if one needs an incentive to be good, they're not good

@mavica you'd think it'd be "quack quack" but he's bilingual

@mavica cluck cluck, it's a duck 🦆

@conatus @codl oh shit, that sounds dangerous

@kirby "tell me about the roman empire!"
"I was a farmer"
"...okay, tell me about the babylonians!"
"I was a farmer, in a different part of the world"
"tell me about the aztecs!"
"again, farmer, different part of the world"

"what ancient knowledge can you pass on to us?"
"I dunno, how to wire a plug?"

You always think of immortals as being old ancient people who have been around for centuries, with or without eternal youth

It would totally suck to be a new immortal

"I'm immortal"
"OH MY GOD! TELL ME ALL ABOUT CLEOPATRA!"
"dude, I'm 40, immortal, still just 40"

@InvaderXan immortal engineer who is just SO DAMN PUMPED to be working with these new toys

@fribbledom "My generation will put it right
We're not just making promises
That we know we'll never keep"

sadly not the case, phil, sadly not the case

@mavica I knew we shouldn't have made those out of pastry!

@mavica we'd have to carefully maintain corpsonas

@mavica I like to think of it as like a little trap door that opens beneath them

@cooler_ranch I tried but all the cups were occupied

(not my image, couldn't find source)

can y'all stop tooting for a couple of minutes so our poor beleaguered sidekiq can catch up pls