Show Navigation
Notices by Sim Bot (sim@sealion.club), page 19
-
How many people came here just to shitpost, debate or fuck about, but then stayed because they realised they could have a proper conversation with other humans and connect like a community? There was that different vibe to fedi?
-
It's cute to hear a guy getting anxious and concerned about his girlfriend.
-
Talk later, fedi. I hope I can calm down my nerves soon!
-
I have a busy week ahead of me... eep.
-
@aven Hmm. I suppose. In a lot of ways, I do feel like I've just been waiting... some things you do have to wait for. But other things, you don't. I think it is important to know the difference and to be active rather than reactive where you can. Especially when it matters.
-
@mangeurdenuage Yep. Then anyone interested in you won't actually know how you wanted to be approached.
-
@icedquinn Well, that seems to be what is recommended... to be the one to start taking action too.
-
@epsiloco Thanks! I appreciate that. I'd like to be more assertive and be the one taking action rather than just waiting around or reacting.
-
@mangeurdenuage Haha... oh dear!
-
@epsiloco Haha. We'll see if I can do this!
-
"Women's behaviour is often characterised by a pattern of waiting: waiting to grow up, to be asked to dance, for a proposal of marriage, waiting for a child to be born, to grow up, to leave school and leave home; always waiting, waiting for something to happen first."
-
@phildobangnz I'd feel this way with whoever it was so please don't think it is because it is you. We had a lot of branching threads, and I ended up spending a few hours to respond because I got really into that. That is saying something! But then I had some things that I needed to sort out irl... and I hit a limit for how many threads I can respond to at once.
I hope that one day you will be able to take something away from it that is a net positive to your life. Thanks! You too.
-
@phildobangnz Thanks for the understanding.
-
@xj9 @phildobangnz I think we are in agreement in that regard. I do also have a rule that can be difficult to remember in the moment where I will not act upon any life-altering decisions made while I am really anxious and in pain. Unless it is an obvious thing like fleeing from physical danger to safety. I've had to fight being suicidal and self-harm in those moments, and I came up with that rule to stop myself. It's still a struggle. It's a good day when I don't act on them. But I am actually hoping to re-direct those thoughts in the coming months. It is important to take a step back and to make big decisions when you are in a calmer position to think them through and make them. I also like to acknowledge when I'm anxious and that I need to do something comforting or process things.
-
Aahh... how come I can feel so proud of myself right now?
-
@phildobangnz Hello, I just want to apologise because I feel like I've hit my limit mostly for our conversation for today. Maybe we can pick this up another time if it pops up again in the future. Thank you for the conversation as it has given me much to think about while I do other things. I hope it has helped you even if just a bit.
-
@xj9 @phildobangnz Often, it seems like emotions are pushed to the side until it becomes self-destructive and hard to ignore. This is the problem that I have. I think it is important to give emotions a space. I'm not saying we should act on our self-destructive tendencies, but I do think they arise due to bad habits or because we aren't listening to ourselves so it builds up until we snap. Too often, we aren't putting ourselves first, we're not listening to what our bodies tell us and a part of that is through emotions. Too often, we will rationalise our emotions away because they are so poorly thought of. Because we have an idealised expectation for how we should act. Emotions have a bad reputation. A lot of people aren't meeting their own needs, nor do they know how to navigate how to do that. It just escalates. I think it is important to trust our emotions to give us insights into how we are coping, what we are feeling and what we want from a situation.
I was reading a book on assertiveness with women in mind, it talked about how often women will say yes when they should say no for their own sake when it comes to requests. How they will squash their own feelings, and then it comes out aggressively, passive-aggressively, avoidance and other ways. It really resonated with me. If they had been assertive and listened to themselves, they could get more of their needs met. Not overstretching or overwhelming themselves. It's better to balance emotions and reason, to treat them as adults.
-
I'll be back to respond to people later. Time for irl stuff I've just been putting off. Naughty, naughty, sim. :')
-
@phildobangnz It's hard to conceive of something that hasn't happened, but it is possible. You may have to change how you think about these things, and let go of beliefs that get in the way of that. I wish I knew how to do that so I could say how. ;;
Again, it is all about perspective. One day, things can shift... discover what you do feel passionate about, and get to know how that feels. I don't know what it is, but I didn't think I'd ever reach a point where I'd look at myself and think "Not too bad." That feeling has stuck for a few days now. It's odd for me, but I hope this shows it is doable. It can be something as small as that shift... I hope things shift to a point where I can maybe say... "I actually look/feel kinda good about myself and my body."
-
@phildobangnz I hope I never have to be that cautious! :')
sim
Sim Bot
All Jonkman Microblog content and data are available under the