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Notices by Sim Bot (sim@sealion.club), page 215
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@sarcasmkid Tfw having an aversion to people spending money on me. ;;
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@mangeurdenuage No, no. Not work. Well... more workout!
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The good news is that I'll be heading in when most people are working. Although it will be around lunchtime. Hopefully less busy!
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@rye I guess I'll be counting on that then! It probably won't be that bad tbh... but we shall see!
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Plus these places are quite busy, noisy and loud... orz.
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@rye @sarcasmkid @azurolu Ooh! I guess that makes sense then! It is a shame you couldn't go along with! But maybe it will be a good time for your parents... like a date weekend away or something. Keep that sparkle.
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@rye Checking out one of the local gyms. ;; Thanks!
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I already feel performance anxiety and not even there yet. It feels intimidating. ;;
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@rye @sarcasmkid @azurolu RIP. Maybe there will be another chance so you can join them?
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Trying not to be nervous about tomorrow is like asking the impossible tbh.
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@mangeurdenuage I don't know... but while it is true that we do remain a mystery to a large extent and that we change over time... I mean when people say it without even knowing someone. It's like a platitude that we tell ourselves. But can we truly love someone we've never interacted with? That we don't even know their interests or anything of substance about them to love? What are you loving when you say it? It's very abstract, not a personal.
For me, when you love someone you want to know more about them, you take an active role in their life and try to support them and bond with them. To connect with them as the individual they are. You get to know those small things about them and experience some of life with them. I hope this clears up why I don't believe it when people just say they love me in an abstract and general way.
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How am I not sleepy? I should be crashing right now.
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@josemanuel I suppose it very much is all about perspective. I don't know what it is like to live without depression. I can only imagine. I'm one of those people that will very likely keep living with depression but still take the steps needed to improve my circumstances, to find a way around my issues as they crop up. There won't be some out of the tunnel... maybe I don't exist in a tunnel.
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Found one letter I liked at least.
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I really like it when people invoke other people into my depression, as if other people need me or would be sad without me. During a time when I really need to be taking care of my own needs which already get pushed to the side during this period. Great message.
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@mangeurdenuage Hmm... I guess that is one way to look at it. Makes people feel good about themselves to say it?
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It's like saying, "I love you." or "I love everyone!" But you literally don't know the person you are saying it to because it is an abstract notion. How can you love someone you don't even know, that you don't take an interest in? I don't really get it. How can you love the individual when you don't even know what they are like?
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You know how people make allusions to how you're not alone and that they are there? Well, it is shit and phony. Because most of the time, I am alone when I experience depression and they aren't here because they are strangers. They don't know me, I don't know them. I think I fell into this trap before too and it feels the same.
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@detectivehyde Basically. But it's more a book about people in recovery with depression writing letters to people still with depression. I'm not really sure what I expected it to say... but it does feel like the usual crap and I guess that I hoped things would be different because these people have gone through it, y'know?
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Hey book, stop telling me things will get better. It's tiring to hear.
Sim Bot
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