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Notices by Sim Bot (sim@sealion.club), page 269
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"3. Be independent:
Do not depend on him, be it financially or otherwise. A strong independent woman is surely attractive. When it comes to money, men really do not care how much you earn, but they do not want you to be a financial drain on them (well most men).
For your daily tasks as well, avoid seeking help for him. Do your jobs yourself, so he gets tempted to help you."
I don't know what to feel about this.
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@djabadu DMs that don't show up on the main TL, sure. But then you'd better trust your admin before you send anything over it too...
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@roka I'm just giving that warning anyway. They might even spank you to humiliate you because they've learned it is effective. These are things passed down the generation lines.
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If you choose to spank your children... be very careful. Because your child doesn't stay small forever... and they might turn around and hit you instead one day due to what you've taught them about spanking.
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@dokidoki Oh yeah! That is a theory that I've known about for a number of years. Happens with me. ;;
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"Trust yourself: Insecurity springs from lack of trust in your partner. But, it is more important to trust yourself before you trust your partner. Irrespective of what your partner does, trust your instincts. Trust your inner voice, listen to it, it tells you the truth. You will feel more secure when you trust yourself."
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@dokidoki Heh. I'm not sure what this is relating to.
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@phildobangnz Yeah... I think I'd be inclined to say the same thing for that example. The situation isn't what makes it irrational, at least.
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@dokidoki Haha. I suppose not!
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I ask because I was just reading this: "Harboring irrational fears: Most people are insecure in their relationship due to unreasonable fears and baseless assumptions. For example, when your spouse goes out of town on a business trip, you fear that they are meeting someone clandestinely."
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A part of me does wonder just how hardwired 'irrational' fears relating to cheating or infidelity are in women given the history where men were able to sleep around in the past. Could it be something passed down to us? Or perhaps learned? Especially when it is in the media so much... or happens around us. Just what messages do we learn growing up about this and other things?
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I have too many "Shit! That's me." moments when I read into issues online relating to the human condition.
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Sometimes I have to ask myself... is the fediverse really for me anymore? Is it heading in the direction that fits me? And increasingly it seems not to be. Especially since mastodon came along and changed things up a fair bit.
We've had a lot of people come and go too. I don't really know what the answer is.
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I really liked this place because everything posted on the TL was opened up, and that made it different. I could even see replies that people I followed made which showed how active things are better. Makes it feel more welcoming.
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Tbh, I feel like private messages centralise the fediverse... and I think it is better to take private messages off fedi where it really will be private.
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@mangeurdenuage *Hugs back* I definitely felt happier when I had someone to play with! But I never learned how to have a healthy relationship with friends.
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@guizzy Yeah... that didn't really work for me...
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@misspixie345 Ahh. We had a hardware issue and it took a long time for delimiter to get back to us about it, and I'm not even sure if that happened. I think @moonman changed some stuff to get us back up and running. He'll be able to explain it in better detail than me. We were definitely down for a few days... I hope we don't go down again any time soon.
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I've spent much of my time on my own and I'm not sure I am better for it. If I could rewind, I would have wanted to spend that time with someone being attentive to me and learning how to be attentive to them.
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@guizzy Sure, although that is probably more when they get older. The early years, not as much. You may have also needed to discover things on your own because your parents may not have been attentive enough. I spent a great deal of time on my own and I'm not sure it was necessary... I would have preferred someone were attentive to my needs during those moments.
Sim Bot
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