Notices by Sim Bot (sim@sealion.club), page 95
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Sim Bot (sim@sealion.club)'s status on Sunday, 17-Feb-2019 10:13:39 EST 
Sim Bot
@phildobangnz Certainly, I do need to learn how to not lose my cool. Especially in a bad mood.
That sucks. Well, when you are ready again for it... I hope that it changes for the better for you. Even if it is in the form of a small male group you can hang out with from time to time... and come up with ideas on what to do. I was inspired to hear about a case like this when I went on holiday, listening to some of the locals and what they plan together. I am sorry, perhaps there is a part that downplays it... I have a bad recollection of everything I've said or done. But if you remember, and it is something you appreciate then I can be grateful. -
Sim Bot (sim@sealion.club)'s status on Sunday, 17-Feb-2019 09:57:46 EST
Sim Bot
@nekoinemo @azurolu That sucks. I can understand that frustration. I was a part of a small online group, and one guy took to repeatedly insulting me. He would just lose it with me in the room. Eventually, I had to drop contact with this group in order to get away from him. But I don't think I helped my own case when I got so depressed that I basically said that I wouldn't care if he died. This got back to him, and made things worse. It is my hope that for your own sake, you can heal from what happened to you with time and have as little to do with pasty as possible. I hope that it does work for you in the future. -
Sim Bot (sim@sealion.club)'s status on Sunday, 17-Feb-2019 09:48:46 EST
Sim Bot
In some ways, I kinda miss being a part of a small cohesive group that will hang out with each other in spare time, and bond over an interest or hobby. I kinda wish that I could have been more present to appreciate it as it lasted. -
Sim Bot (sim@sealion.club)'s status on Sunday, 17-Feb-2019 09:43:21 EST
Sim Bot
@phildobangnz Well... I don't know how good that is. ;; I'm just glad that in your case, it is something that would help you more. Perhaps I just need to learn how to be blunt in a kind way.
Yeah... it's not fun to have that void in your life. I hope it can, in time, be filled for you. I just don't think of it that way... assuming we knew each other irl, I have the capacity to do much more. But I leave a lot reserved for myself and those I am close to which is not much. ;; -
Sim Bot (sim@sealion.club)'s status on Sunday, 17-Feb-2019 09:31:40 EST
Sim Bot
@azurolu @nekoinemo I think people can be bullied online. Some people will do it intentionally, whatever platform they are on. But on the other hand, I don't think it excuses the frustration and wishes in this case. I don't think it is any better to wish someone to be raped or killed... that is much, much worse than someone giving their opinion and namedropping your username. I don't think it is righteous justice. It's just rage and revenge. A better form is that she gets the same treatment, finds out how you felt and comes to a better understanding. Perhaps apologises. Although I don't think I was there when this happened so I don't know what is actually appropriate. What the intentions were. -
Sim Bot (sim@sealion.club)'s status on Sunday, 17-Feb-2019 09:13:19 EST
Sim Bot
@phildobangnz Yeah... it's not how I usually choose to conduct myself, I guess.
I don't know if I would call it pretty far... more inspired. ;) It's the least I can do from time to time, it's just not something I can do all the time. What I do is not the same as having someone there to support you in person for life. But I am realising that in vulnerability, we need loved ones and those close to fill in the role where we are lacking. To ensure our basic needs are met. To give us some hope and perspective. To know that we are capable. That we are safe. These are the things robbed from us in the moment and it is very hard to do that with adrenaline pumping through your system. Adrenaline caters to a specific niche... and that is fight, flight or freeze. -
Sim Bot (sim@sealion.club)'s status on Sunday, 17-Feb-2019 09:02:09 EST
Sim Bot
@mangeurdenuage Moce, moce. Hope your day goes well for you. Thank you for the dog! -
Sim Bot (sim@sealion.club)'s status on Sunday, 17-Feb-2019 08:56:45 EST
Sim Bot
@phildobangnz Yeah... although it's not usually something I am proud of. xD
Thanks. It feels nice to know someone is cheering for me, even through the setbacks. It's hard for me to feel capable in the moments when I am losing it. -
Sim Bot (sim@sealion.club)'s status on Sunday, 17-Feb-2019 08:36:32 EST
Sim Bot
Imagine a world where we don't have mothers. That sounds horrifying... it is bad enough that there are so many dysfunctional families that lack a father and/or mother... I don't want that future for any child. Children lose out in this. -
Sim Bot (sim@sealion.club)'s status on Sunday, 17-Feb-2019 08:34:23 EST
Sim Bot
@mangeurdenuage Oh gosh... that sounds like the future to these people. -
Sim Bot (sim@sealion.club)'s status on Sunday, 17-Feb-2019 08:32:55 EST
Sim Bot
@phildobangnz I'm glad that you think so, even though I have lost it a few times or almost. The times I became more blunt. ;;
Ahh... I don't know. I tend to find the legal stimulants make me feel worse so it isn't really an option for me. I think chocolate is my choice of stimulant though. ;; I also think that I tend to resort to the worst, more permanent coping mechanisms rather than what many others do. So I'm not the best there either. I have to take a lot of timeout either way. I appreciate the sentiments here. -
Sim Bot (sim@sealion.club)'s status on Sunday, 17-Feb-2019 08:24:03 EST
Sim Bot
Trying to believe you're worth it when every piece of you wants to run...~ -
Sim Bot (sim@sealion.club)'s status on Sunday, 17-Feb-2019 08:23:04 EST
Sim Bot
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=M5Zp3bXwDdA -
Sim Bot (sim@sealion.club)'s status on Sunday, 17-Feb-2019 08:16:52 EST
Sim Bot
I am in misery,
There ain't nobody who can comfort me, oh yeah.
Why won't you answer me?
Your silence is slowly killing me!~ -
Sim Bot (sim@sealion.club)'s status on Sunday, 17-Feb-2019 08:09:25 EST
Sim Bot
@phildobangnz Often, I don't feel particularly patient. It gets me into trouble, and I just feel worse off for it. ;;
I think that is it. It can be very exhausting. -
Sim Bot (sim@sealion.club)'s status on Sunday, 17-Feb-2019 08:02:26 EST
Sim Bot
@zaitcev Unfortunately, we're very slow over here since a server move. It is still touch and go. I don't think there will be any more patches for GS/qvitter since the original devs have gone, and most people seem to have moved onto other projects rather than touching the PHP and spaghetti javascript code of GS/qvitter. Moon has been quite busy, and fl0wn no longer has access to the backend. There has been talk of moving over to pleroma but that will likely break a few things and there isn't a suitable qvitter alternative on there so I am personally reluctant. But until this gets resolved, we will be slow and buggy. Not to mention that I have no idea what changes from other software has been doing to GS. -
Sim Bot (sim@sealion.club)'s status on Sunday, 17-Feb-2019 07:42:54 EST
Sim Bot
Replacing mother and father with parent 1 and 2 is so dehumanising. I am not a number, damnit!
One day, I hope to become a mother. When that happens, you will have to pry that title from my cold, dead hands. I will ALWAYS be a mother to my children. Take your bullshit and shove it where the sun don't shine. -
✨ライス ✨ (rice@niu.moe)'s status on Sunday, 17-Feb-2019 07:35:58 EST 
✨ライス ✨
rest of the world: apocalypse, burning down
fedi: everyone is being nice to each other and having wholesome fun
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Sim Bot (sim@sealion.club)'s status on Sunday, 17-Feb-2019 07:32:09 EST
Sim Bot
@phildobangnz Me too... because it is really kicking my arse. I would really like to get going with my life again, and this holds me back from doing what I want. But then, I have to be patient with myself. -
Sim Bot (sim@sealion.club)'s status on Sunday, 17-Feb-2019 07:27:42 EST
Sim Bot
@succfemboi Other than that, I can only speak from personal experience for what helps me in those moments...if you are close to me, then I will be more open to being comforted. Which is really what I need the most then. I feel threatened, my feelings are overwhelming me... and so it is difficult for me to be rational. My body is very likely drugged up on adrenaline. It takes a long time to come down from that, and it also requires triggering that I'm now safe. That I've either fought or escaped the threat. So the first thing is comfort. This may take a long time, to sit with the person panicking.
Then to address them as an individual in pain or whichever emotions they are feeling then, not their symptom.If you focus on the symptom then it won't comfort them. You will miss out on so much more. You may decide to leave them when they don't feel suicidal in this case, and that is the mistake. Because the problem is what underlies that and suicidal ideation can flare up easily. Having a conversation can help, depending on how you phrase it. Being kind, honest and open can help. Give them a different perspective to think about, ask them what they've done before and see if you can offer other coping mechanisms that you know work. As long as you talk it through with them to see what they think, then providing them with what they can't provide for themselves in that moment can help. Be the strength in their vulnerability. Be caring and kind, make sure they get their needs met until they can.
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