Notices by Don Romano (alt) (thor@noagendasocial.com), page 7

@revkellyn Yes, I have thought the same thing.

@Ricardus It doesn't feel like I have any control over it. It's like the weather. It just kind of happens

@Ricardus Nothing crushed it. It just started feeling strange to do it. And that's the point through all of this. Gradually, over the years, I've just gradually changed, and in many cases things where no social pressure was exerted. I just gradually began feeling differently. I think there's a reason "adult" and "boring" often go together: Many people just develop along that trajectory entirely on their own.

@Ricardus I had a phase where I liked cartoons a lot and was a fan of Dexter's Laboratory, but at some point, my interest in that stuff just kind of faded? They no longer entertained me. Later on, they took on a character of being geared toward a younger version of myself. Something I once would've been entertained by but had since gotten past.

@Ricardus I remember playing pretend with a friend of mine once. We were maybe 11 or 12, and unlike all the other times we'd done it, this one felt weird. I was unable to immerse myself in it, and the words no longer felt natural coming out of my mouth. That was the point at which I stopped playing pretend. The urge to do so never really returned.

@MartinJJ @clacke Viewing it that way ruins that other idea I just had, though. It's my money when I move out, unless something happens to the apartment. That's literally what a security deposit is. It's not his money. If I take up a mortgage, it's my name on the house, and it can only be seized if I default on the mortgage. If it was his money, he'd keep it when I move out. I'm securing a potential future debt with it.

@MartinJJ @clacke I think I need a shift in perspective. If this is indeed my money, and it's just there as a security, and it can't be withdrawn easily, perhaps what I ought to do is treat it like a very long term savings account. I have a tendency to use up my savings. Can't do that with a security deposit account. I'd have to move to access that money, which could actually be a good thing...

@MartinJJ @clacke It would be yet another bill to pay. His question is also difficult to answer, because I don't know what would be a reasonable rate to pay it back at. If I say some amount per month and he disagrees, who decides what's reasonable?

@MartinJJ @clacke No, what I'm having trouble with is the logic. He is getting his rent back, after all, and I'm not convinced that common practice, or the law, says that a partially withdrawn deposit must be paid back, and the contract isn't explicit about it. It's not that I don't want to pay it back. It's technically my money, so long as nothing bad happens to the apartment. The problem is that my personal finances are already severely strained.

@MartinJJ @clacke He's also good at doing favours you never asked for, and then later expecting a favour in return. He's always friendly in his interactions, so you think nothing of it, until 6 months later when he reminds you of the favour he did that one time.

@MartinJJ @clacke The main motive is that he wants to avoid taxes and paperwork. He prefers doing things under the table. Again, everything is just a transaction to him. You're always left with the feeling that you've been duped if you have any kind of business with him. He makes sure it's always you owing him something.

@MartinJJ @clacke As far as I'm concerned, he's never nice to anyone. He just wants people to work up debts to him, whether it's money or some other kind of debt.

@MartinJJ @clacke It seems kind on the surface, but inevitably, his "kindness" is always turned into something he will use to his advantage later on.

@MartinJJ @clacke He's always doing this kind of thing, where he does a favour and then expects something back, and then uses that as leverage when negotiating.

@MartinJJ @clacke He knew I needed to practice drive, and I hadn't found anyone else to do it, so he offered to do that. However, there was a twist. He said this would mean I owe him IT work in return for it later. So he essentially spoiled the agreement we had earlier. Once I made him aware of this, he said "We'll take it from the deposit."

@MartinJJ @clacke You're both missing some background information that I didn't initially want to get into.

His initial request was "When can you pay it back?" and I said I didn't know, since I'm burdened with other debt. I proposed that I could pay it back through some IT work that he needs to have done later on. He seemed to think this was a good idea. But it didn't end there, as you understand...

I'm wondering if this kind of "brain depletion upon employment" is actually very common.

Perhaps that's why customer service representatives seem so brain dead. Perhaps that's why corporations tend to grow inept after the startup phase, and why government can't do anything right.

Perhaps many people have it in them to think creatively, but they just can't when they're forced to do it in order to make a living.

I've realised that I'm actually much less skilled with computers when I have to use them for work. I'm unable solve problems creatively when there is no natural interest for the task. The stress of having to do a task puts me in linear thinking mode. My project manager, a former programmer who actually likes this kind of work, has no trouble thinking creatively about it. He's actually telling me what I should do, and it's stuff I would've thought of myself if I was in the right state of mind.

I'm trying to think of how I can turn the tables on him. I know he doesn't want me to move. He and the residents need my IT services from time to time, and I've also notified him of water leaks and other problems in the building.

An aggressive approach would be to suggest that I could just move out, but I want to be more clever than that. I want to contradict him in a way that sounds completely innocuous.

So, because I couldn't pay rent for a month last year, I agreed to let the landlord withdraw one month's rent from my security deposit.

Right after that, he asked me how quickly I can pay it back.

He's a sneaky bastard. He said nothing about this before, and now he simply expects it to happen. This way, I must either agree to it, or start an argument about it.

The deposit is mine. I'm legally obliged to pay it back, but no law prevents him from exerting such pressure.