Notices by zak storer 🎡 (zacts@mastodon.social), page 3

@kai Any tips on how to get started with composing electronic and/or avant-garde music?

"As she drifted into the moon in the ocean, her lyre glistened in the mist, mourning, haunted; its sorrow echoed from the cliff above. " <-- The last sentence of my short story, Sappho.

"As she drifted into the moon in the ocean, her lyre glistened in the mist,
mourning, haunted, its sorrow echoing in the cliff above." <-- final version.

"As she drifted into the moon in the ocean, her lyre glistened in the mist,
mourning, haunted, its sorrow echoing in the cliffs above." <-- final version.

'echoed' is not a verb here. It means 'imprinted' kind of.

"As she drifted into the moon in the ocean, her lyre glistened in the mist,
mourning, haunted, its sorrow echoed inside the cliffs above." <-- final version.

"As she drifted into the moon in the ocean, her lyre glistened in the mist,
mourning, haunted, its sorrow echoed within the cliffs above." <-- final version.

"As she drifted into the moon in the ocean, her lyre glistened in the mist,
mourning, haunted, its sorrow echoed into the cliffs above." <-- final version.

"As she walked into the moon in the ocean, her lyre glistened in the mist, mourning, haunted, its sorrow echoed into the cliffs above."

"As she walked into the moon in the ocean, her lyre glistened in the mist, mourning, haunted, its sorrow echoing into the cliffs above."

"As she walked into the moon in the ocean, her lyre glistened in the mist, mourning, haunted, its sorrow echoing into the cliffs above."

"As she walked into the moon in the ocean, her lyre glistened in the mist, mourning, haunted, it's sorrow echoing into the cliffs above."

"As she walked into the moon in the ocean, her lyre glistened in the mist, mourning, haunting, it's sorrow echoing into the cliffs above."

Here is another sentence: (original) Thelonious captivated his friend with his new composition. (more specific vocabulary) Thelonious mesmerized Bud with his freshly devised harmonic structure. (alternate word order) Mesmerizing Bud, Thelonious devised a fresh harmonic structure. (with nuanced alphabet) Mesmerizing Bud, Thelonious devised a fresh harmonik strukture.

"As she walked into the moon in the ocean, her lyre glistened in the mist, mourning, haunting, whose sorrow echoed into the cliffs above." <-- My first attempt at creative writing. It's weak. I'm keeping a portfolio so that I can keep a log of my progress.

https://www.npr.org/2018/11/03/663895387/roy-hargrove-grammy-winning-jazz-trumpeter-dies-at-49 <-- Roy Hargrove passed away.

https://www.goodreads.com/book/show/16171217-building-great-sentences <-- may I recommend this book on building great sentences.

καλός ὁ βίος ἐστιν.

@sikkdays Have you ever tried Jones soda?