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Notices by Sim (sim@social.heldscal.la)
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@jordigh @lnxw48a1 Really? Because I recall some rather nasty comments in the past from some people that used to use mastodon in the earlier days. Basically telling me to leave over an opinion I shared that they did not like to hear even though I was not being nasty in the reply. If we follow your example here, then mastodon shouldn't be considered friendly. Is it really being friendly to drive people off a platform for holding opinions you don't like? By the way, Eugene also told someone else to leave his platform which I wouldn't consider being friendly.
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@katiekats @maiyannah I think that if we don't let political opinions come between us then that difference doesn't mean we can't get along. It's rarely black and white, people come up with all sorts of opinions for varying reasons which can change... that doesn't mean they are bad people. It sucks that some people get so caught up that they have to make an enemy out of those that think differently to them and also those that associate with those people that think differently. My family were split on brexit, and I know I wouldn't consider them bad just because we differed there. We don't always see eye to eye on politics but there is more to people than that. It's good to be reminded of this.
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@maiyannah @phildobangnz It's interesting you mention this as I was given an SSRI by the GP, and I didn't go searching for one. At first, I was reluctant to take meds for my conditions but I heard how it had helped someone else on a podcast... so when it was offered to me as a short-term solution while I changed other aspects, I decided to give it a try. Little did I know that this one increased the likelihood of suicide to begin with while I was waiting for the other changes. I did mention it, but nothing changed. It is really hard to tell whether it caused it or not because I was already suicidal at the time. I guess I got fortunate that I'm still here in spite of things like this. After a year and some on them, I was the one trying to get off it because it hadn't improved my condition... the GPs were the ones keeping me on them until I put my foot down and asserted myself. :/
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I'd like to wish everyone a Happy New Year early... so happy new year! I hope that the year is kind to everyone, but also surprising in good ways because every year needs that.
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Except in cases of abuse which I think is a different matter, I do wonder if life would be better if we took responsibility for our own reactions and feelings rather than projecting them onto those around us to take responsibility for so we don't have to.
I just can't fit it together. But maybe that is because I grew up being that party made to be responsible for someones emotions/reactions. I don't think it was healthy for me to take on their emotions, and be responsible for when they didn't like when I said or did something. To be guilted or shamed for it. It could be a form of emotional abuse.
When we say, "I'm offended by what you say, you are a bad person for saying it... apologise/feel bad/etc." we could be emotionally abusing and manipulating people. We could be creating a culture based on this. It's no wonder people feel they are walking on eggshells, when they feel the need to apologise in case. Even when it is done for tolerance/acceptance, it could be creating intolerance, judgement, resentment and not acceptance. It could be exclusive too.
I don't believe this is empowering anyone. It is teaching people that the responsibility for their reactions lies outside of them, they have no control over it... when they do. It also creates monsters out of innocent people, blaming people. I could be viewed as the monster for pointing this out. Then it creates victims from them. It merely disempowers everyone involved.
Our reactions stem from inner beliefs and thoughts processes that we picked up through childhood or were born with. When we experienced a situation, we were teaching ourselves how to react to it. Knowing this is a powerful thing... it's not easy to change our reactions, but there is something in exposure therapy for example. We don't always have to react how we do. It is doable when you know how and are capable of following through on that knowledge. I think this is more empowering... at least for me.
I still have to unlearn what I learned above. That I am not responsible for other peoples emotions and reactions, that I don't have control over it. That it is not for me to apologise or feel bad for just because someone gets offended and tells me I'm responsible. That I can't be everything for anyone. If I were truly pulling the strings, most of you would be better off than you are now...
I can only hope that we begin to learn to free people from this burden... and do our part in the healthy relationships we have with each other by taking responsibility for our own emotions, thoughts, reactions, etc.
This is also a reminder for me to do the same as I said if I'm not already. To reflect upon it.
Sim
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