Notices by Everyone Deserves Nice Things (suzaneraslan@anticapitalist.party), page 14

Y’all... I realize I’ve only been married for 5 weeks, but I feel seriously annoyed that no one ever mentioned how fun it is.

@erinbee Oh my word, your whole style is just so great.

So, I am opening a show in a week and I currently have 20 pairs of harem pants sitting in boxes in my living room. 16 of them will be returned, but still.

This is such a weird and delightful job.

@banjofox Like, why do people constantly go on and on about how it’s bad if sex is short? I mean, yeah, 20 seconds isn’t great, but I’m not here for 20 minutes of free jazz noodling.

@ghost ...oh. Fuck. That’s so obvious now that it’s been pointed out to me that I feel like I’ve been hit by a truck.

@shoutcacophony There it is! Laughing AND fighting.

So... a good DIY punk show mosh pit. I’m so here for that.

I like sex to be like a classic punk song— hard, fast, somewhat angry, with an emphasis on enthusiasm over virtuosity, and over in 3 minutes or less. Bonus points if combat boots are included.

@shoutcacophony At least we'll all go down laughing? *LOLSOB*

@shoutcacophony See, this is why I adore you. You just made me laugh about something that makes me want to go sit in a fetal position in a dry bathtub and never come out.

Oh, for fuck's sake. I thought that this administration couldn't find ways to gross me out more than they already have through their fucking political policies, but now the anus mouthed jackass in the White House is going on a celebrity pardoning jag? I fucking hate America so hard.

Oh, and for those who have no idea what I am talking about... my best friend and I have a #podcast where we are watching every movie ever nominated for Best Picture, reviewing one each week, and then deciding if the Academy picked the right movie. It's called Screen Test of Time, and it's pretty fun. David is hilarious, I'm ironically the straight woman (only in comedy, my friends, only in comedy), and it's online here http://www.suzaneraslan.net/screen-test-of-time or on iTunes in the usual way.

Sorry our #podcast is a little late this week, everyone. I realized after listening to it that it needed a content warning, so I had to go ahead and record one of those before I could release it. It should be up very soon, and I'm really proud of this one!

It's out now on my website at http://www.suzaneraslan.net/screen-test-of-time/2018/5/29/screen-test-of-time-ep-22-shanghai-express and should be in iTunes subscribers' podcasts imminently.

@sciss Though I have to say it makes me nervous, the literacy thing in particular... the AKP used literacy programs to indoctrinate rural populations into Islamicism. What is the İyi party planning to use to teach people to read?

@sciss Certainly an improvement over the AKP, but god knows they’ve moved the Overton window off a cliff.

LOL, it’s snowing in NYC after being a gorgeous spring day in the 50s yesterday.

I realize it’s only going to get more dangerous, but climate change being annoying af already sucks.