Notices by Kate (katebowles@mastodon.social), page 20

That moment amidst all the confusion and grief when someone cherished gets in touch unexpectedly. Not a meaningful or pointed silence, just one of those busy things.

I met Michael when we shared an office in Umea. He took me to meet his partner and we had dinner together. Opening the conversation, she turned to me and said "let us hear from each other".

Ever since, I have held this invocation close as a way of living.

#smallstories

@wentale @tek How interesting, that's exactly how I'm reading it. And finding it. At times his surprise at not being murdered by the strangers he meets is ... exasperating. He's very earnest.

@dogtrax @tek Yes, I feel them.

@wentale @tek How are you finding it? I'm taking it in small steps.

@tim So I followed this trail and now thanks to you I'm listening to Olafur Arnalds.

@dadegroot My goodness. That's a hard thing. I'm so sorry you had that happen.

I don't know if this is ever managed gracefully -- I'd love to know how. At some point, there's a bandaid getting ripped off. But I'm facing forwards.

@tim I need to hear this, the tidal thing. I'm holding still to let it be this way.

@tek I'm reading the account of a writer who left home after college at 23 to walk 4000 miles across America. At one point he writes about how his mother managed her grief and fear: that she determined to accept that this day could be his death. Every day. And then she worked at staying still.

"Because I know that if you don't do this thing, it won't be good for you. So it's really about me letting you not come back. ... I think that's just love," she says.

@lauraritchie This is so beautiful, thank you. The plate is spinning for sure.

@tek I get this. "That's great," you say, and your heart flips over.

The oldest of my daughters is actively researching leaving home next month. I did the same as her at the same age, 18. She's on flatmate websites, she's making appointments, she's seeing houses. She can't wait, she's running to the future with her arms open.

I'm so proud of her. And also me: I want to lie on the floor and howl.

I have never been ready for the next step, not one time.

#grief

@RussSharek Scrolling I saw #victoryofinches as a triumph of finches.

But more than that, the victory by inches really is my life. So thank you.

@Downes @inmysocks @celesteh @dogtrax @Algot I like its economy when human bandwidth is at capacity.

@Algot @celesteh @inmysocks @dogtrax

I live in a small street. Many of us know each other a bit. When we drive into the street, we greet each other with a nod or a wave. When we see each other elsewhere, we nod.

I use the favourite function here as a kind of nod, a solidarity.

@dogtrax @inmysocks @celesteh @Algot

I star things here because I'm saying "someone heard you". It's like making eye contact with strangers in public: recognising the human. I'm saying I might not approve, but I get that you care about this. I see you there.

I do it here very differently than on Twitter, where I'm mostly bookmarking.